meet Leng, the young woman Beth Kanter’s family is sponsoring to go to college through The Sharing Foundation. photo shared through creative commons from cambodia4kids flickr stream
True confession: With less than twenty-four hours left to go, I am practically obsessed with America’s Giving Challenge, the charity fundraiser sponsored by Parade Magazine. I’m not sure why exactly. Whatever the reason, it probably also explains why I cry during any movie involving a race, an underdog and/or a girl with a dream. The cheesier the better. Think Herbie Fully Loaded, for example. With great shame, I have to tell you, I cried my eyes out.
But seriously. For those of you unfamiliar with the challenge, every year the Case Foundation gives $500,000 to charities whose supporters have attracted the most unique donors to their cause. They award the money a variety of ways, but $50,000 goes to four organizations focused on domestic issues, and another $50,000 goes to four organizations focused on global issues. All you have to do is have the longest list of unique donors, giving a minimum of $10 each, and the $50,000 prize is yours to keep.
All of this has been happening off my radar for the most part this year, but over the last few days I haven’t been able to shake the urgency in Beth Kanter’s reports on Twitter. A little poking around and I realized that Beth–awesome person, mother to adopted children from Cambodia and board member for her org, The Sharing Foundation–could actually help win this thing. She is in FIFTH place right now, just forty-something donations away from nudging into the top four at 3PM EST! (You can read more about her cause here.)
I know, I know, what you’re thinking. Jen get a hold of yourself! And I say, but it’s only $10! but the wonderful, warm, dream-loving community here could TOTALLY show up and make Beth’s dream come true! Like a surprise! She would feel like it dropped out of the sky like magic! There you go, Beth, 40 last minute donors completely outside of your circle and voila–50,000 smackers to help rural children in Cambodia learn how to read and write in their own language! Happy Thursday!
Okay, if you are so inspired, here’s where to go, dear ones. Click give, and just $10 will do it. I promise regular, less hysterical, inspired posts, will be back per usual, tomorrow. After that unexplainable happy win for Beth & the Sharing Foundation!
Last night, before slipping into a nice hot bath, I caught this post by kindred spirit and soulsister BohoGirl. It’s a lovely reflection on happiness, along with a brilliant quote from the beloved Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. Gilbert makes the case for “participating in the manifestion of your blessings”; Denise responds by reflecting on how sometimes this can actually be simple. Here’s Denise:
No one else is responsible to do this in our lives but us. Sometimes its easier to blame others and make our unhappiness their fault but I know that is a diversion from taking it into our own hands.
This can also be in the simple things. It doesn’t have to be so huge and overwhelming. This morning I started to feel a bit sad. The choice to adopt is so beautiful and awesome but I still grieve over the path that I’ve been focused on for the past three years. I picked up the phone to talk to my husband about it. Perhaps he could make me feel better. Then I put the phone down before it started ringing. No…only I can make me feel better. So, I opened my window to listen to the rain and began to think about all the friendships in my life that I am grateful for. My mood lifted and I felt more clarity. Sometimes it can be this simple.
If there was ever a candidate for shifting your focus in order to find clarity and joy, dear friends, that person is me. Knowing how gentle and truly kind Denise is made taking this idea into my heart downright easy. How is it that I wait so long to do the one thing that will get me on the road to bringing blessing and happiness to life?
Today I’m shifting my focus to gratitude, to peace, to companionship, to love. How about you?
my photo of the day, a lovely cuba libre made for jess by nick
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. –Winston Churchill
I’ve had a lazy Sunday, lying in bed reading The Gift–a present from Evelyn Rodriguez who gave away as many copies as were requested right before Christmas via Twitter. My immediate instinct was to send her a zine to say thank you, but she told me to read the book first. “Then see how you feel about reciprocating,” she wrote. I loved the mystery in that nudge, along with her wild generous spirit.
So today I took on the challenge–to think about gifts in a new light and what it means to let good things go instead of holding on to them for dear life. Almost immediately in the first few pages, I’ve been struck by how essential it is that gifts not be hoarded and how the gift ceases to exist when we refuse to let it flow, when we decide to keep it to ourselves. Gifts are meant to be shared; they do not become gifts until we let them go.
I’m not too far into the book, and my thoughts aren’t too well-formed, so all this might not make any sense. Still. I can’t shake the excitement I feel about being part of an economy where sharing is the primary currency, where wealth is measured in how freely you give or how boldly you pass on the goodness as soon as it comes your way.
What do you have to give today? It can be material or emotional or intellectual. It can be strange or funny or small. No matter what, there’s something you have, something I have that becomes a gift—as soon as we let it go.
Photos from a recent winter meal with a few dear ones from my urban family (fondly called “The Commune”). In case this term is foreign to you, these are people who…
gather around your table and your life in a regular fashion
text you in the morning to see if you want coffee
make plans to make something yummy together almost every night
spend hours helping your kids play complicated video games
listen long and hard when you think you can’t stay another minute
convince you you’re just as smart and capable as you could dare to imagine
make fun of you when you’re entrenched in conflict or are being ridiculous
laugh at your jokes and listen to your stories (even the ones you repeat over and over)
tell you your dreams matter
think your interests are fascinating (science and DNA most especially)
tell you you need a drink
tell you to please stop drinking
consider you a soul friend (even if you are nine and the other is fifteen years older)
think up the most delicious meals and serve them with creativity and love
believe butter is the food of the gods
ignore you when you lament you are getting fat
clean your kitchen
feed you when you are stuck, depressed or bored
think it’s quite okay (best even!) to be with your neighbors almost every single day
So many good things brewing on the web this morning.
For starters, Love Thursday is back! I can see women across the world doing the wave right from their living room couches. For those of you unfamiliar with this lovely tradition, Karen of Chookooloonks tells all here.
This time around Love Thursday will be hosted by the new, amazing collaborative photoblog Shutter Sisters. Some of mydearestonlinefriends are behind this creative endeavor, and it is truly beautiful. The best part for me as a very new photographer is that I finally I have a place to go for both inspiration *and* some tips & hints. Bliss!
My sister turned me on to The Story of Stuff–a truly great talk about consumption & the environment. I can’t stop watching it, and would love to know what you think.
If you don’t usually read through comments, you might want to give these a second chance. You left such an amazing bunch of quotes–I’ve been going over them again and again. Music leads were fantastic, too. A big, big thank you.
Christine Mason Miller, one of those artists/kindred spirits I admire from afar, has a new endeavor in Sparkletopia, a destination site for all things soul-stirring, inspiring & creative. I truly love it.
My soulsister Elaine did a great post in response to Shaking the Shoulds. I’m still mulling over mine, working myself up to the fire (so to speak!) but if you need a how-to, Elaine totally rocked it.
And if you are looking for something good to do in the world today, why not send an encouraging word to thesemamas kicking the shit out of cancer? Something small–like “I hope everything you need comes your way today” or “May kindness surprise you at just the right moment”–will go very far, I promise.
And, of course, it’s never too late to send your Love Notes to the city.
a tiny treasure sent to me in an actual envelope from soulsister & squarespace maven Krystyn Heide
My little urban family (comprised of Dave, my wild things, Nick and our dear Jess) was all in a flurry last night getting ready to sit down to a communal meal when the telephone rang. On the other line, all the way from New York, was our friend Krystyn. She’d had a surreal day–her offices overlook the apartment where Heath Ledger had been found dead earlier that afternoon. Crowds of onlookers (gawkers really) had gathered for a glimpse of God knows what exactly, watching the unfolding tragedy the same way people mill around the perimeter of movie sets.
To make matters worse, Krystyn had found a not so cryptic hate letter in a nearby coffee shop, directed mostly at anyone who might have an ounce of compassion for some random homeless person standing outside the door. You can read the entire story here.
I understood. Such serious signs of unkindness or despair start to pull at your grasp on hope. You start to wonder if anything is holding us together after all. You run through your own unfinished stories and collect evidence for a world less welcoming and more hostile than anyone would care to imagine. Stuff like this messes with your head.
We talked for a minute more as Jess picked at the roasted chicken sitting on the counter, and Dave put the finishing touches on homemade tostones.
“I think I’ll go home and write some little love letters to put around the city tomorrow,” Krystyn said. And just like that, I felt like hope had a fighting chance once again–not only in New York, but in my own weary heart, too.
I promised I’d write my love notes, too, to scatter around my dear town, and we said good-bye, both feeling a little bit more human, I think, more grounded in the story of kindness holding us all.
Where is despair telling stories in your world? What tiny bit of hope and goodness might you add to that furtive tale? I’m writing the love letters I most need to read, knowing I’m not alone in wanting to push back sadness, wanting to sink into hope.
Check out Titration’s blog–she’s two steps ahead of us in spreading the love in the city
my dear Carter, old soul and kindred spirit, taken with my new Canon Digital Rebel XTi
I have no idea what this means, but this quote really stood out to me, reading late in bed last night.
“When we don’t turn away from pain, we open our hearts and are more able to connect to the best part of ourselves and others–because every human being knows pain. I’m not sure what enlightenment is, but I’m sure it has something to do with turning pain into love.”
–Myriam Greenspan, from “On Moving from Grief to Gratitude” in the January 2008 edition of Sun Magazine. (The entire article was fantastic. You can read the rest here.)
Another recent find: Yael Naim. I promise you will love her. Here’s her video from her most recent single New Soul:
I’d love to hear your favorite quotes or newest musical discoveries in the comments below. We’re still on a cleaning binge over here at the Lemen household and I’m finding myself strangely drained by it all. Can anyone relate? I think I find my clutter slightly comforting.
Tracey and Myriam, two dear souls who know how to put me back together again
One of the highlights from my trip to LA was getting the chance to hang out with my soulsisters Myriam Joseph and Tracey Clark. I love these women so much, I can’t tell you. They’re the kind of friends who can’t wait five minutes to ask you the real questions about what’s going on with you, how are you really, tell me what’s up. The sum total of our dinner plan was to get seated someplace as quickly as possible so we could dive in to the most real and soulful conversation.
The next day Tracey came back to the hotel and we marveled at how much serious ground we’d covered. It was like a Soul Garage Repair/Tune-Up in one and a half hours flat, no lines, no waiting. And then I told her about all the things we hadn’t talked about yet–all the tiny little projects that the Soulsisters Unite Kindness Fund had covered with the money we made from our Etsy store at Christmas.
Well, Tracey just loved those stories. And the whole idea of kindness work in general. She told me a couple of stories about her own forays with her kids into the world of caring about others and feeling so charged by the way her kids were totally into it. Two days later she called me with a really great idea.
“Jen, you know all the giveaways happening for bloggers?” I said yes, of course, though being an ad-free blog, I’m not usually on those lists. “What would happen if instead of just running contests where we give that stuff to each other, we found a way to get that stuff in the hands of someone who really, really needed it? Like a kindness giveaway! Where the point is to give it, not just get it?”
Of course, I loved that idea so much I couldn’t stand it. And I know Tracey. As a Nintendo ambassador and enthusiast for all things HP, she always has some incredible things to giveaway. There’s no doubt in my mind that some mother is sitting in an oncology waiting room right now who would give her right arm for her antsy, anxious five year old to be completely engaged solving problems and chilling out in front of a handheld DS Lite while mom processes the bigger picture. Sometimes that’s just the kind of thing that gets you through.
And then the subversive part of me got really energized, thinking about how we can take corporate interest in reaching the blogosphere and turn it into a huge exercise in creative and soulful giving. Wouldn’t that be so great?
Well, Trace called yesterday to say her Kindness Giveaway is on. And I would love it if this community would help her find the just right little girl (and ulitmately mom!) to gift this DS Lite–someone who could not even imagine such a treat could possibly be in her future. So please, if you can, go here to cheer her on or offer your own two cents about who that sweet girl might be.
And I’ll just put it out there, if you are a blogger who is “on the list” to get free stuff, why not run a contest next time where the winner gets to give something away and tell us all later about how she did it & how it felt? Wouldn’t it be great if this kindness thing really knew no bounds? Even in marketing, in business and all those places where we assume it has to be about the bottom line. What do you think?
snowflakes on little green leaves–a little bit of magic from my new canon digital rebel xti
I’m sitting here at my dining room table with one candle burning and perfect silence in the house. I feel more energetic than I have in days, weeks maybe–thank God. It might be because those bare branches outside my window are now coated in a lovely white snow. Or maybe is was the two cups of coffee Nick brewed for me this morning, one right after the other. Either way, I’m so grateful and glad, happy for a reprieve after so many days of feeling overwhelmed or wiped out.
A few nights ago, after an intense PTA meeting, I escaped to Mark and Meryl’s house to tell them a few days worth of stories—pretty much everything that had happened from LA til hours before I was back sitting at their dining room table. Mark and Meryl are a lovely audience. They laugh at all the funny parts; they tear up when something is touching. They ask good questions and nudge me along when I’m feeling stuck or lonely. After my stories, they told me theirs which included a trip to see Robyn the vet/animal communicator (!) and then a surprise visit to Health Magic.
“Health Magic?” I asked. “What’s that?”
“It’s this massage place that Robyn told us about in the Wheaton Mall,” Meryl explained. Basically, you go in and lie down (clothes on) on one of the massage tables in a wide open room and someone gives you an accupressure massage.
“Joan calls it the Hair Cuttery of Healing,” she added, “It’s so cheap.”
Mark went on to explain how they drove around wondering if they were going to do it or not, just because Robyn the animal psychic said every guy in there was good–a veritable healer–and how they finally agreed to (just) go see and decide if it felt like a good idea. In the end, all the signs must have lined up because they stayed, two sixty-somethings, lying side-by-side at Health Magic in the capable care of two Asian men who had no qualms about banging the hell out of their maxed out muscles. Meryl said that night when they came home, she felt fantastic.
I have always been a sucker for a massage, and more recently, the idea that another human being can put their hands on you and restore order to your soul. And why not a dirt cheap accupressure miracle? Why not the Wheaton Mall, where God has not shopped in nearly a decade?
The next day I drove the ten minutes to the mall, totally aware of how much resentment and anger I was holding in my body. If God had not shopped at Wheaton Mall in a decade, it had been at least that long that I had been harboring little stories of my persecution and my subsequent heroism in certain relationships. I parked and walked right in the nearest entrance straight into Health Magic, wondering if my accupressure therapist would be taking my bitterness along with my shoes and bag as I checked them at the table.
“Lady, face here.” he said gently, pointing to the donut shaped pillow at the end of the table. Lying there for thirty minutes, I tried to imagine letting it all go–the resentment, the ongoing record of my suffering–real or imagined– no one really knows. I wondered if the kind man pounding the living daylights out of my body could see the secret complaints I held there, if any psychic knowledge was necessary to work some magic on me, to loosen up the stubborn places where I was determined to have it my way, no matter what.
In the end, I mostly felt gratitude and curiosity about this tall, older man who with so much confidence had hammered away at the exact spot where I was harboring resistance and fear. “Where are you from?” I asked, in my best ESL teacher voice.
He looked panicked and then smiled, suddenly sure of the question. “Neo.” he said, pointing down to his badge and the name someone’s savvy comic-book loving Chinese teenager selected when he got off the plane.
I smiled and left, glad for someone to put my body in order so my mind could move a little closer to forgiveness, a little closer to brand new.
My name is Jen Lemen. I'm messy, hopeful,
enthusiastic and helplessly in love with the idea
that stories can change you and me forever.