Confessions of Would-Be Fashion Queen or Silly Things You Get to Drone On about if You have a Blog
found treasure from a recent shopping spree
I’ve been obsessing about clothes lately since I’m going to Blogher Business in a couple of weeks and don’t want to look like my usual pajama-clad, rumpled self. “Why not?” Dave, Jess and Nick take turns saying. The idea of me in serious clothes is slightly preposterous to everyone, mostly me. “You should just be yourself,” they say. And I agree, though the not-so-thinly-veiled totally vain part of me wonders what I would look like in expensive clothes that match!
In clothes that match, I have a sneaky suspicion I’d feel five pounds thinner, and at this point, I’ll do anything to not have to give up eating endless bars of chocolate as medication for all that ails me. I’m also curious to find out if there is some secret version of myself that can only be revealed by business fashion. While this is probably not likely, at the moment just the thought feels slightly adventurous. I really want to know.
When I’m not in my pajamas (which is often), I live my life in tattered jeans, turtlenecks or tank tops, yummy nubby sweaters or cordoroy jackets, always Superhero jewelry, and chunky glasses that are too big for my face. I rarely brush my hair, preferring instead to sweep my mismanaged curls into an unruly bun. I collect colorful bags from the nation’s flea markets and drape them across my chest like badges of honor. Everyday I put on Adidas sneakers with a hot pink stripe. The unruliness of my style gives me so much joy. I feel like it has taken me years to become this delightfully textured and dissheveled. When I actually shower and try to look neat, I end up seeming kind of plain, though everyone notices how clean I am and congratulates me in the same voice you use to affirm small children when they’ve remembered to brush their teeth. I don’t mind this. In fact, I often feel happy, in awe of how the simple act of washing your hair can make a person feel so fantastic.
To step out of so much rumpledness is slightly intimidating, since I have no practice at nice-and-tidy in the dress department. But I am determined to do it. At least for two days. Madeleine is thrilled, since she spends her days pining away from Mrs. Wong, the mother of a first grader who is mostly seen wearing high heels and perfectly tailored suits when she drops her son off at school. “See that,” Madeleine says to me when I walk her to school in the clothes I slept in the night before. “Fashion every day.” I think I’m living my own version of fashion everyday, but I see her point. There is no doubt, Mrs. Wong did not go to bed in that lovely pantsuit.
My first day shopping for something akin to a nice pair of slacks ended up with me purchasing yet another yummy nubby sweater and another cordoroy jacket, this time in a lovely dark olive green. Oh, and a nice silver bracelet that says “grace-balance-truth-courage-wisdom”–who could resist that? This after trying on five hundred pairs of nice pants, asking all the sales ladies if there is such a thing as dress jeans.
The second day Meryl came over and offered to wander downtown with me. I was thinking I should just walk down to DSW and buy another cute pair of sneakers as comfort measure for the disaster the day before. The Rocketdogs with rhinestones maybe. But the plan changed. “Just show me what you tried on yesterday,” Meryl said, and I agreed. This is risky taking Meryl with me. With the power of Meryl by your side, you think you look fabulous in everything. Everything in the entire store seems reasonably priced. Your stomach disappears. Your ass looks smaller. You feel tall, glamorous, ready to conquer the world.
Let’s just say it only took about twenty minutes for me to leave the store with a nice pair of slacks, a cute jacket and various other sweater thingies that would look completely adorable with any number of skirts, jeans or even pajama bottoms, should I want to spice things up. Meryl closed the deal by telling me that I can always just bring these things to New York complete with tags, and if I can’t bear to wear them–opting instead for my old trusty jeans uniforms–I can always return them, no damage done. The salesgirl could have kissed her. Meryl ended by pointing out the slacks are the exact color of semi-sweet chocolate.
We agreed it must be a sign.
Back home, I modeled my new clothes in the kitchen for Dave (”Babe! You look great!”) and Carter (”Kiss me you fashion woman!”) So far, so good. Then I waded gingerly across the lawn in my new clothes and adorable adidas sneakers with the hot pink stripe to get the verdict from my partners-in-crime next door. Jess declared I looked great and remarkably still like myself. We marveled as only girls can do about the miracle of my disappearing stomach! Nick immediately started working on my business card, should anyone want to buy a thousand zines or some other lovely piece of writing I’ve labored over on the basis of my clothing alone.
I decided to celebrate by drinking a half-gallon of sangria with my little urban family, but only after returning to my comfy jeans and yummy sweater. We passed around the Peruvian chicken that Dave found after a great quest for an open pollo place on a Sunday night. Jess was ecstatic over plantains. Nick set the mood with the just right Cuban salsa music. Madeleine came to the table (even though she is still so sick) and asked me to tell a funny story. I think she was relieved that with one small purchase I would be that much closer to the glory of Mrs. Wong.
This morning I feel like a tiny (chocolate colored) butterfly just beginning to squeeze out of her cocoon. A “fashion woman” taking demands to be kissed by adorable five year olds everywhere! I’m still not sure if these clothes will ever make it off the hanger, but it feels liberating to have them in my closet. Like I’m letting out some new parts of me to bring order and power to a lively and colorful whole.
I loved your obsessions the other day. I especially loved the image of dear women everywhere putting their faces in baby feet. If you are still reading this endlessly silly post–feel free to leave a comment revealing your favorite fashion item–that one article that makes you feel like you can take on the world. I double dog dare the boy readers among us to confess as well. 
March 12th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
You should post some before and after pictures! I am sure a lot of people are curious to see them
March 12th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
I just wanted to let you know I referenced your webiste…but no one actually reads mine, so I hope it’s not a big deal!
I hope you find your bike!
March 12th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
You make me grin.
Fave clothing of the moment: red Planet Earth shoes that make me want to dance and take the whole world on.
March 12th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Hey! I have a cool bracelet like that! My favorite fashion item is definitely my Life-is-good shirt(s).
March 12th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
i think we may be fashion soulmates. what a fun post.
March 12th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
My BC Footwear “Naughty But Nice” flats. They’re girly, comfy and go with everything.
March 12th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Love your Blog. Have been very inspired myself in finding your writings. Favorite fashion thingy……a fabulous necklace i had made at a celtic fair. It has these great green stones (always go for the green). No matter what I am wearing, when I put that necklace on the world is my playground.
March 13th, 2007 at 12:14 am
You go fashion woman!! Not a silly post at all– I feel the same way about it. My normal uniform of yoga pants and tee shirts and Danskos is all well and good (you’ve probably seen me in them digging in my yard this week), but there’s something about those well-paired concert blacks I wear to work that just gives me that certain little bit of confidence when I hop into them, even if I hop right back out and into the yoga pants again as soon as I get home. (High heels are friggin uncomfortable, Mrs Wong can have them if she can hack them)
Hmmm… the one fashion item? Definitely my watch. It’s a lovely elegant shiny stainless thing, and I love its weight on my wrist. It was the first thing I ever splurged and bought myself that I had wanted so much it hurt– one of those “can’t live without it” things. No matter if I go out in sweats or an evening gown I always feel elegant when I wear it.
March 13th, 2007 at 12:33 am
your natural style sounds just perfect to me. i love tattered jeans, nubby sweaters and corduroy jackets. yum.
but glad you had success with a friend shopping for mix and match classic pieces. so fun…xoxo
March 13th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Enjoyed your fashion woes. Hope to see you and your zines at BlogHer Biz. I’ll be wearing my favorite fashion items… my too tall pointy-toe suede boots and “dress” jeans. Yes, dress jeans exist in my fashion world, but then again so do gouchos and Crocs. So I may not be the best judge
March 13th, 2007 at 12:54 am
A life long yoyo relationship with my body has found peace and harmony in the past two years. I’ve realized that taking care of my body is taking care of my soul. Just recently, I’ve started to delight in showing that body off. Tight ass hugging jeans are just about the most perfect clothing these days. The ones that you gasp, and can’t believe that jeans cost that much these days, but then you try them on and you can’t believe that your body looks that good. And I tried on a pair today with red wedge high heels, (not me at all) but I found that I could get into this new sexy mamma thing.
March 13th, 2007 at 4:44 am
Oh Jen! I almost woke my kids at work (16 BD 6-12 yr olds) I’m giggling so loud…in complete understanding with you. As a kid I loved to dress-up for church, but once home the “farmer’s daughter look came right back out:cut-off jeans, my brothers plaid shirts and flip-flops (unless I was with the horses…NO flip-flops then! And yes, I learned the ouchie way!). Now, I often claim freedom from dressing up at church…in the name of comfort, speed and extra time with my pillow! As far as “real fashion,” goes, I do have a killer baby pink suit that DH bought as a gift a couple years ago. And no, he didn’t just go out and get it…he took me shopping and led me to it, suggesting I try it on, saying I didn’t “have” to get it, but he thought it made me look “sexy sharp” (”huh, baby pink?” I thought!). You must know, that I’m not pink by nature. I only “did” pink when it was en vogue with black or grey while I was in jr/sr high! LOL! Well…I actually loved/love it and have great fun changing the blouses/tanktops/camisoles/t-necks/sweaters I wear with the blazer. 0h, and I have a semi-sweet choco. top I wear w/ it too! Jen, have fun and enjoy experimenting with your “new look.” Make it fun by doing a fashion show for your fam and/or friends…try different jewelry/accessories, heck go all out and (gasp) “do” your hair, face, and nails (I’ll bet Miss M would love to help Mrs. Wong-ify her mama!) Cheers! –K
March 13th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Since I started reading PeaceBang a year or so ago I have updated/upgraded my wardrobe quite a bit. I kept and still wear most days my jeans and tee shirts but it does make you feel so good to really dress up sometimes.
The most important thing I’ve learned from PB is no matter what size you are or what your style buy clothes that fit!!
My favorite dress-up pieces are a pair of pinstripe wide leg pants, jacket and off white sweater. I wore it to a business lunch the other day and it made me feel so sharp.
And, yes, there are dress up jeans!!! but they have to be (or look) expensive and dark (no faded dress-up jeans).
March 13th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
My power item is a multi-colored pastel woven scarf from Italy. (I’m usually a black/brown wardrobe kinda gal.) A co-worker brought it back for me from Sienna. I love wrapping it around my neck and smelling the scent of my perfume still lingering from the previous time I wore it. Just draping it around me brightens my mood and makes me smile
March 13th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I feel your pain/confusion/excitement. I’m going to a writers’ conference next month and am basically freaking out over what to wear. I left my “real” job nine months ago and haven’t worn much business gear since then. I don’t have much left in my closet that fits, is fashionable, and can be worn in the presence of other professional people for professional matters. So I’m plotting my new wardrobe pieces for the conference. Suits certainly don’t suit me, and besides, it’s a writers’ conference – won’t bohemian be in? So I’m looking for an outfit that says, “I’m a young, hip writer who also knows how to wear grown-up clothes that make me look simultaneously eclectic and professional.” Whew! I know I’m asking a lot of an outfit, but it can be done. Onward!
March 14th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
our styles sound similar…my friends are constantly after me to straighten my hair and dress more seriously—but i won’t!
my fashion obsession: these jeans that make my ass look fabulous and dresses/tunics over jeans. and, of course, jewelry like crazy.
xo
March 14th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Hmmm scarves are my favorite accessory, they are so flowy and beautiful.
I am a skirts and tshirt kinda mama, my clogs or birks or ugg boots
I have to dress professionally at my job and it is a struggle to stay true to who I am and look professional. I wear a lot of Flax and JJill for work.
March 15th, 2007 at 10:41 am
I SO know what you mean. My entire wardrobe is from Goodwill or off the sale racks (70% off). I’m sure one of those make-over shows would have a field day making fun of my hippie garb. Then along comes a dinner or a party or a wedding…and suddenly I need something to wear! Ack! What a battle between TAKE ME THE WAY I AM and wondering if I can pull it off, how it might feel to dress for the occasion. I got a lot of vicarious pleasure from reading about YOUR doing it. Can you loan me your girlfriend for my shopping trip?
March 15th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Has to be the heels…I feel like (but know it’s not true) I lose 10lbs. when I put on my heels. Wear em’ every day of my life….even my house shoes have a 4inch wedge heels (they are rocketdogs)
March 16th, 2007 at 11:06 am
LOVE this post. Let’s see. I have a beautiful vintage pearl necklace my husband surprised me with several christmases ago. Whenever I need to feel a little more “money”–like if I am going to a fancy restaurant or an event at my kids private school (where we are the scholarship family) in my mostly shabby, not so chic wardrobe, it gives me a little confidence boost. I have a light grey Ann Taylor cashmere sweater that does the same thing.
Also? At 35, I discovered foundation undergarments. A girdle is your friend. Your dear, dear friend. I found a black, boned one at Target that even looks kind of Victorian sexy. Instant makeover.
March 18th, 2007 at 1:47 am
Yay!! I get to see you at blogher business! With all that shiny blue radiance beaming out of you, it won’t matter what you’re wearing!
March 19th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
My black cowboy boots, I think. By far my most expensive wearable - we had to use layaway to get them, about 10 years ago. They’re the highest heels I have (only 2 inches - that’s kinda pathetic, eh?) and they make me feel super-cool and confident.
I’d better wear them in the next few weeks - I don’t wear them in hot weather, and I miss them in the summer.
Or is it my hair?
March 21st, 2007 at 6:48 am
[…] I just don’t have it in me to stay up one more minute. My business cards are finally printed and neatly cut, so artful and amazing thanks to Nick. All the clothes I’ve been collecting on various shopping sprees are piled high on the couch, hoping for a suitcase sometime soon. A nice collection of favorite necklaces waits on the table for the final casting call. Tomorrow–no make that today!–I’m leaving for New York and Blogher Business 07. I can hardly wait. […]
March 22nd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
[…] 1. I could have worn pajamas and it would all be fine. 2. While obsessing about fashion, it would also be a good idea to not forget to pack more than one pair of UNDERWEAR. Thankfully there is a Victoria Secret’s on every corner here in New York. Dave will think the souvenirs from this trip are the best ever. Also, remembering to bring deodorant would have been ideal. […]
July 23rd, 2007 at 1:47 am
[…] This is the part in the story where I realize Blogher is in five days, and it’s entirely too late to lose the five to seven pounds I gained since going last year, thus triggering my recurring vanity issues. To make matters worse, I’m still paying for all the fashion obsessing I did before Blogher Business and may risk the possibility of completely destroying the family budget if I even dare consider a last minute visit to Andre Chreky in hopes of creating so much ooh-la-lah in the hair department that you don’t have a second to contemplate whether that little bump I’m sporting is indeed signs of pregnancy or just my uterus showing from my last two births, six and nine years ago respectively. […]
March 27th, 2008 at 11:41 am
The simplest and most favorite fashion item I have is a great bag…no matter how dissheveled/mismatched I may be, a great bag (the best come from TJ Maxx) changes EVERYTHING! And the best part…if you gain or lose a few pounds…it still “fits!” I treat myself to a new one every few months for a little pick-me-up