The Best Is Yet To Come, Part Two
Today I’m holding on to these words that I wrote so many months ago on the Oregon Coast. On Thursday, just days after this exuberant post, I received an amazing rejection letter from the nice-and-kind publisher I mentioned earlier. Not being a huge fan of rejection in general and shocked that she was replying so soon, I scoured every word looking for a shred of encouragement, a little kernel of confidence that I could take with me into my next step, my next move, my next project. But alas! Not one! What could it mean?
The truth is I do not know exactly. And it will most likely take me some time to sort things out, to put Power as I choose to define it in her rightful place. This is soul work at its most challenging–learning how you will define your contributions to the world and whose opinion you will choose to hold most dear. Deciding how heavily you will weight your own voice in a myriad of others, especially the ones with the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Figuring out what you can learn and what you can leave behind.
It’s tricky, and unfortunately, so much easier to eat hefty servings of rich dark chocolate. Don’t you hate that?
Aside from the chocolate, the thing that is working best for me so far is to hibernate up here in my little blue studio, make art and listen to “Big Strong Girl” on repeat. And thank my lucky stars, for this second at least, that feels like more than enough.
I hope your heart is full of hope this Sunday afternoon and that if you (like me!) are in need of blessing, encouragement or a good cry, you get to receive it in the company of someone who loves you more than words can say. The comments are open for your wise words on dealing with rejection and what you’ve learned along the way.
July 1st, 2007 at 3:16 pm
(o) … chocolate always helps, and I’m glad you’ve found that place to hibernate for now. Rejection is never easy. Hang in there - there’s God’s plan A right round the corner.
July 1st, 2007 at 6:29 pm
so so disappointing…
what an awful feeling. i am so sorry.
I too put my favorite songs on a continuous loop (I like Mary Chapin Carpenters “The Hard Way” but “Big Strong Girl could be a serious contender). I also eat lots of chocolate and anything with “warming spices”–cinannamon, nutmeg. Its soothing to me.
And I remind myself that others are feeling this right now (I am not alone) and allow myself to sit with the sadness and grieve the loss of whatever I had been hoping would happen. And I pray that I will move through it quickly and that I can recognize the window that opened when the door closed and the new opportunities that are coming my way. For they are coming.
Blessings tonight dearest Jen. May tomorrow bring you some sunshine. Many hugs.
July 1st, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Congratulations on your first rejection letter! No, really.
Kudos for finding the challenge in it and being open to the universe (one of the many things we love about you).
xo
July 1st, 2007 at 7:38 pm
I was always told that each rejection is one step closer to an acceptance and so I should celebrate my advancement.
Still feels like crap to be told you’re not good enough.
Sigh. Big, fat, wet kisses from California.
July 1st, 2007 at 10:16 pm
“hard times” by eastmountainsouth (a song).
and remembering that all the people i admire went through/go through rejection … even jen lemen
July 1st, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Well, just remember that the first Harry Potter book AND _A Wrinkle in Time_ were both rejected many, many times before smart publishers snapped them up–and obviously, the list doesn’t end there. Someone will see your work for what it’s really worth, even if it takes some time. Stick to it, you big strong girl!
(Can you even imagine being one of the publishers who rejected either of those books? Yikes!)
July 1st, 2007 at 11:06 pm
The fact that you can share this “rejection” and your sadness about it is a testament to whose opinion you will choose to hold most dear. For if you considered the nice-and-kind publisher’s opinion the ultimate word on your creation, surely you would slink off into a dark room, filled with shame and insecurity, and tell no one. Instead, you are being open about it and looking for the lesson in the pain. Your disappointment and confusion declare to the world that *you* believe in your art. *Your* opinion is the dearest. And even in the midst of disappointment, your words seem to be steeped in hope. I just lit a candle before reading your post because I needed a little comfort and hope myself. Now I’ll dedicate it to you, and the wonderful things that will come of this twist in your path.
p.s. Songs: “Out Loud” and “Fighting for It All” by Mindy Smith; “Lookin’ Forward,” “The World Can Wait” and “If Nothing Else” by Over the Rhine; “I Don’t Ever Give Up” by Patty Griffin
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:21 am
oh–such good words of encouragement! i feel blessed to be in your company and to be able to smile, taking in your kindness!
i’ll sleep well tonight.
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:37 am
Jen,
Yes, yes hold onto hope. You are doing soul work and it will not find a home in all venues, but it will find a home…it’s proper home in the Universe’s time. Your job is to keep doing your work (art, writing, etc) and putting yourself out there. Congratulations on having the courage to send your work out. Blessings to you this night.
lisa c
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 am
I send love and hugs, dear Jen. And utmost trust that your stories are simply readying for a more suitable home.
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:40 am
oh jen, i’m so sorry…it sucks hard when it feels like life rejects you. but trust and know that your stories will find their rightful path to the world, in perfect time. until then, keep walking your path and speaking your truth.
sending you love, a warm bath, some chocolate, a cathartic cry and the biggest, warmest hug ever. lots of love to you, dear one. xo.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:10 am
i love that song. and its true.
‘the best made plans are your open hands’.
i wish you all the best.
July 2nd, 2007 at 2:49 am
Mucho (((HUGS))), chocolate, bubbles, and ride around town on that lovely bicycle of yours should help heal the soul…along with the hibernation in your studio! I listen to “Behold” by Rich and Trish Bruxvoort-Colligan and “Splash” by Trish when I need to just be with whatever state of mind I’m in (www.riversvoice.com). Be gentle with yourself. I pray you’re sleeping peacefully right now, and when you awake, you’re refreshed and invigorated! I also hold onto Jeremiah 29:11. That verse is an anchor for me in everything! (((HUGS))) –Karla
July 2nd, 2007 at 4:24 am
Will a big fat ‘I love you’ do? Or should I send more chocolate? Just know that you are always loved and always supported. Always. No matter what.
PS. Rejection in this case just means another door is waiting for your knock.
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:32 am
ohhh Jen, I wanted to tell you this story. My friend Carol was a children’s book author who had come to her art rather late in life. In any case, one of her very first stories was very dear to her, as it was a story from her childhood. Even the very nice and kind publisher who ultimately bought her other stories however rejected it. When I last saw her she was showing me the galleys of this precious book–When her book finally found its home one of her all time favorite illustrators, someone she admired so much it made her heart go pitty pat just to think about it, had agreed to illustrate it. She was giddy about it and said it was worth the wait.
She had told me that rejection just means, “not yet”… I am so proud of you for sending your stories out into the world and starting down this road. Your courage inspires.
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:51 am
Belated congratulations on finishing the book! If you self-publish, I’ll buy a copy
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Bummer! But two things to keep in mind–one, is that you never really had much of a desire to do a children’s book until you met with her–so it’s not a long-brewing life’s dream smashed to smithereens; and 2, as difficult as it is to get a children’s book published, children’s authors still only average about 5K a year (and that takes in the Harry Potter types!)–so it’s not a lovely source of potential income. That said, if you now really want to have a children’s book published I’m sure a different publisher whose line more fit with your style would snatch yours up, or at the very least suggest what needs fixing.
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:46 pm
jen, your words are encouraging me! you are being so valiant right now to not let this put you down and as someone who also tends to procrastinate–or worse, trash the whole thing completely–i greatly admire the way you’re vigorously seeking out what the next step is TO get published. there is most certainly an audience out there for your work. love you so much.
July 2nd, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I’m walking this path in my little corner of the world so I know how challenging it is, trying to keep on believing and all. But what a blessing for me that I stumbled here to day and saw your beautiful scrawl at the top of your post. No accidents, I suspect…
Keep submitting…
July 2nd, 2007 at 7:00 pm
two words: Beatrix Potter… who struggled for so many years to get “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” published (she finally did at the age of 36).
Stay with your dream Jen, you are beautiful, talented, and filled with the hope that it takes… I know it’s so hard, but just remember the perfect thing is out there in the universe waiting for you to stumble upon it, there might be a few stumbles till you get there, but perhaps it is because the universe knows something better is yet to come.
(at least that is what I think)
peace and love to you.
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
There is a sign on my desk, written by the beautiful SARK that says:
“If you’re not being rejected, you’re not reaching far enough!”
Just read this glorious post by the wonderful Trevor too ~
http://www.trevorromain.com/blog/archives/2007/07/the_writing_lif.html
I wanted to share with you, dear Jen,
that it’s been feeling like an uphill battle at the moment.
Just those bare, naked, steaming moments where hope seems a little bit thin.
And I thought this morning ~ what happens if the hope snaps? What if I believe all the negative, crappy thoughts and possibilities?
I realised that if I did, I’d be without hope. I’d believe the negative, crappy things. And I’d be lost without the hope.
So… I’m choosing to remain in the dance hall of hope…
even if I’m a wallflower just for the moment
with love, and hope to you ~
leonie
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Jen - Your work and your words are so beautiful…they’re just waiting to find the right home, honestly. Your illustrations always, always make me feel better when I happen upon your page, and in that way you are so usefully published, at least as far as I and your many readers are concerned, I’m sure.
Big celebration the day the right person says “How fast can we publish this?” !!!!! : )
July 2nd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
I like that it means not yet.
Have a first rejection letter celebration! All great writers tell great stories of many rejection letters. It’s a right of passage. Have a party!
July 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 am
I just finished Bird by Bird. Anne Lamott’s perspective on rejection is so great. Pick it up and flip around again.
Something bigger and better waits for you. Think of this as a step in your journey and then re-read your quote above every day. I’m printing one for me too.
July 3rd, 2007 at 3:18 am
jen, i love reading your stuff and have already given a few altar kits away to friends in need of a little hope & peace in the midst of the craziness. of course we all think the publisher is stupid but that’s a given in this moment. i re-read the words at the top of your post, so good. “let hope anchor you in the possibility that this is not the end of your story…” meanwhile, chocolate helps..and sweet kisses from your beautiful children who don’t give a rip whether you ever get published or not…and maybe a reminder that you should be so proud of yourself for pushing through the resistance, risking, being willing to put yourself out there. to me, that is everything & where the real action of living happens. plus i’d bet good money it’s not the end of the story….
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:45 am
I deal with this as so: A moment to cry and just let all the pain out, while listening to the saddest song I know. Then a change in music…something uplifting…something to get me going, and of course enjoying chocolate at this moment is key.
At a time like this it is tough to remember that we did the hardwork. We put ourselves out there. And for that my dear you should be most proud. Congratulations for being so brave, so confidant, and so daring. That is a huge accomplishment, not matter what the result was. You are a wonderful women, and you will succeed. This step just put you a little bit closer to your dream.
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I’ve been trying to think of beautiful and inspiring words of encouragement to send your way today, but after reading your own words at the top of this page and all of the wonderful comments posted above, I find myself with very little to add…except this:
We have never met or spoken, but you and your words in this space are such an incredible source of hope and inspiration in my life and everytime I visit here I leave feeling so very grateful that our lives have crossed paths and I look forward to being here when you find the publisher that will bring your children’s book to a shelf near me.
Sending you love and support and { a great big squeeze},
k
xo
July 4th, 2007 at 3:03 am
Beautiful Jen, I am late to reading this, but I know why. I know that just a few minutes ago when I read your words above (three times in a row)…”let hope anchor you in the possibility that this is not the end of your story….” I wept a bit, because these words…they are what I needed to see right now. I wrote a very long and difficult post tonight, and I am in a place where I am working so hard to get to the other side…to employ the “change that will bring me to peaceful shores.”
My point in telling you this is to tell you that your contributions are mighty and they are important. Your “beginnings” zine sets on my desk where I can look at it everyday. You do indeed touch people. I wanted you to know that.
I wish you peace and happiness and really good dark chocolate because you rock.
love.xoxo
July 4th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Benjamin Franklin
Redirect your energy and keep persisting. There definitely is a publisher out there that is just waiting to read your material. He’s got great plans for you. Plans to prosper you, not harm you. Plans to give you hope and future. Speaking of hope and future… Appropriately enough, today is the 4th of July… A day to celebrate our country’s past, present and future… a day of renewed hope, persistence, and independence. I can’t wait to share in the joy with you when you write us to tell us that you’re published. It WILL happen. It’s just a matter of time. In HIS time. In the the meantime, keep writing and inspiring us. You are SO loved.
July 5th, 2007 at 12:32 am
Jen,
My first book was rejected over 50 times, and now has been successfully backlisted for 18 years.
For what it’s worth, I just linked to you in my new blog because I think your words, concepts and art are wonderful.
There’s no doubt in my mind that you will get where you need to go.
July 5th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Jen-
Mother Root
Creation often
needs two hearts
one to root
and one to flower
One to sustain
in time of drouth
and hold fast
against winds of pain
the fragile bloom
that in the glory
of its hour
affirms a heart
unsung, unseen
-Cherokee poet Marilou Awiakta
Do you remember this? Hold fast…dear friend.
Thinking of you…
Annie
July 8th, 2007 at 2:12 am
Jen, This post is oddly timely for me as I am up late on the computer because it is easier to lose myself here than to face the overwhelming sense of hopelessness I felt tonight. And then I read your post. And realized that I am not alone in these feelings.
I am so sorry for your bad news, but please know that your words have made a difference to me, and I thank you. I hope it is okay that I have linked your blog to mine. You have a clear gift for words, and I love the spirit in which you write.
May 6th, 2009 at 9:17 am
[…] This blog carried me through all kinds of twists and turns. I learned how to take risks. I faced rejection. I asked for help. I found a new way to be a part of a community. I got my heart cracked open in a […]