No Love Left in This World
It’s almost a year ago that I was doing my Thanksgiving Day shopping and had this incredible conversation with two strangers in front of Trader Joe’s. Over the course of this year, I have received random emails from more strangers saying they found this post at just the right time by putting search terms like “no love left” into google or following links from far and near. Those stories are truly my treasures. I’m reposting this today, just in case you’re out and about and see someone you’ve never met in desperate need of encouragement. I hope you’ll be brave and do something crazy like hug someone for no reason or tell someone you think everything will work out after all.
So, I’m walking out of Trader Joe’s with my cart and my turkeys and a grocery cart full of snacks and whatnot, and I’m just about to pass two men walking in. The one guy looks Iranian, like my friend Farah’s husband Mahmoud, with closely cut salt and pepper hair and perfectly tailored clothes, about 50ish. He’s talking to his friend, who’s younger–more my age maybe. Just when our paths are about to cross, the older man turns to me and say in all seriousness, “I’m telling you–there is no love left in this world.”
“No, no, no!” I said. “That can’t be true. Please don’t say that.”
“Do you know that moment,” the younger guy says, explaining, “when you are at the bottom of everything and you have a little hope left, but you’re not sure if it’s going to last? You’re not sure if there’s really anything there at all?” I nod.
“That–” he says, pointing to the man’s heart “is exactly where my friend’s at right now.”
The older man shrugs in agreement, laughs it off and turns to go to the store.
“Wait, wait a minute.” I call back. “Come back. Come here. My whole day is going to be wrecked if we leave it like that.”
The man turns and walks back to me, until we are standing toe to toe, eye to eye.
“Give me your hand,” I order him, turning on my mother “you-must-do-as-I-say” voice. “I’m going to give you a blessing.” And like a child knowing it would be too much trouble to refuse, he puts his hand in mine.
I don’t know what to say really. But I do know that there is no such thing as no Love left in this world. I know that Love is always waiting, whether or not we have the courage to see it or to receive it.
I stumble through a few sentences and he takes it, at least a little bit. I figure if all else fails he can always say–There was that girl in the Trader Joe’s. At least that’s something.
Now it’s my turn to leave, but this time the other guy stops me. And he is insistent.
“I need that so much more than he does! You have to say a prayer for me, too. I have to have it right now.”
I laugh–since it’s probably more like wishing than praying really–but he gives me his hand and waits–the way you wait when you’re desperate for good news after the worst disaster. The way you wait when you’re hoping for a break.
I feel so helpless and silly, trying to find words that will ease one man’s pain. I don’t know what to say, I don’t even know if what I’m saying is true for him or not, but I am trying. I want something to make a difference, something that will stay with him long after this day.
“Your path is unfolding before you,” I tell him. “You cannot see it now, but it’s true. All you have to do is take the next step, one step at a time. Open your eyes and receive everything you need. Something so much greater is holding you, I’m sure of it.”
At this, his eyes fill up a little bit and he nods, taking it straight to his heart. They ask my name, and I answer. I tell them I’m going home right now to light candles for both of them, that I will be thinking about them both all day. It’s the only thing I know how to do, to try to hold that tiny piece of suffering as long as I can, to remember them, to care.
On the way home, I call my sister and tell her the whole story.
“It’s just horrible,” I tell her, “to think that right now people are wandering around the grocery story feeling like there’s no love left in the world.” I sigh. “How many people do you think are feeling like that?”
“Um, almost all of them?” She laughs, but then she sighs, too.
I hope it’s not true.
I’m the kind of person who has total amnesia about every hard time I’ve ever had exactly five minutes after it’s over. I can be ready to blow my brains out one second and then have a change of heart and feel like everything makes perfect sense the next. I wish I could say I walk around blessing people even when I feel crummy. That I don’t lose sight of hope when things are falling apart. But the truth is I’m entirely capable of telling strangers that there is no love left in this world. At the grocery store. In the parking lot. On the week of Thanksgiving.
Can you see now why instantly I loved them?
I came home to Moirita singing a little song to herself while her mother, my friend, Lourdes performed miracles on the mess upstairs. I tell Lourdes what happened. “Aye, pobrecitos,” she says. I tell her how lucky I feel that someone would tell me such things, but she thinks I mean just lucky in general about my life.
“Si.” she says, answering me in Spanish, sober. “You are one lucky woman.”
That brings me down to earth, to every kindness, to every privilege I have ever known my whole life long. I light the candles, first one, than the other, hoping that the man will find the love he needs. That his friend will see his path unfolding before him, and that I will have the eyes to see it for myself, the next time sadness finds me, the next time I fear all hope is lost.
November 20th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I always feel such peace after spending time with you on this blog.
Your heart is so big. How lucky I am to be part of your community.
November 20th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I remember this story from last year and was so touched by it. and what a blessing that it’s touched others all year long.
November 20th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
This is always timely. We all need to be reminded of who we really are once in awhile.
Thank you for shining your light.
November 20th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
your writing is like your art — beautiful and sweet, awash in color and just the right amount of detail. just lovely. happy thanks week.
November 20th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
I needed to read this today. My heart has been broken apart a bit for the last three weeks due to my Father-in-Law’s sudden death. Yesterday a conversation I had with a RE/reproductive endocrinologist wasn’t very encouraging on the path to having my second healthy baby. I feel my baby’s spirit will be coming but this ‘medical’ conversation was quite disheartening (my age 41 and blood work FSH levels for those of you aware of these issues). In summary, I’ve read this passage before and the portion of my path is unfolding before me..brought comfort to my heart and tears to my eye..Jen I believe you are one of my guardian angels. Thank you speaking the words and language I wasn’t aware that I needed to hear. I’m seeking out another opinion and I’m starting acupuncture. Please continue share your warmth with the world and send me some good vibes and nourishing spirits
Love, Trish (patriciadolan@comcast.net)
November 20th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
I love this, “all you have to do is take the next step”.
What a perfect mantra!
Happy Thanksgiving….Thank you for a little corner of peace in this world!
November 20th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I am so glad that I found my way to your blog. Your spirit is SUCH a gift. I feel honoured to know you even in this small, insignifcant way.
Jeanette
PS: I know from reading back through your archives that you are a music girl - I just found the most amazing song this week…I wrote about it on my blog if you want to go listen.
November 20th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Like Dorothy and those ruby slippers, the love is always all around us, we just need to find the way to see it. Thank you for being there to show it to those men.
November 20th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Gosh, I can’t believe it has been a year since the Trader Joe story first was posted… it’s a great story!
November 20th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
It was a fabulous story then. It is fabulous today. We all have many opportunities to take the hands of the people around us and bless them. Strangers, friends, and family members. I pray that I will do that myself: love others, as they are, where they are, and encourage them to take the next step on their own journey. With courage, with gusto, with grace, and with hope that they will know love. Deep love. Thank you for showing how it is possible to spread peace, love, hope, joy, and blessings right where we are.
November 21st, 2007 at 12:21 am
Oh Jen, I love this story of love. It is just so amazing how we each could touch each other lives if we stopped to take the time to do it….not only time, but also if we felt comfortable enough to do it. Thank you for sharing this again. And for reminding me that love is all around us.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:10 am
That was lovely.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:17 am
I remember this story that I’d forgotten and I love it all over again.
why why why can’t I order your zine on etsy? why does it say you’ll take orders until the 30th but it’s sold out? why????
November 21st, 2007 at 3:03 am
Peace to you. I know…there is always love in the world, always.
November 21st, 2007 at 4:39 am
i haven’t read this story before. it’s beautiful and so is your heart.
November 21st, 2007 at 11:11 pm
I love this story and I believe it too - there is always love. And I’ve been reflecting an awful lot on whether or not we need justice. Is it essential for healing? I’ve been listening to Pema Chodron on the subject and thinking about your post and thinking about all my friends here with murdered or disappeared family members and the people responsible sitting in Parliament. It confuses me - but in my deep heart I know that aggression cannot create peace. Thank you for challenging me and for being your beautiful self. x
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:18 am
I remember this story… and loved reading it again today. One of my favorite collection of words is “Be a blessing.” You, Jen, are a blessing. Happy Thanksgiving.
November 22nd, 2007 at 10:40 pm
This filled my heart and touched me deeply. What a beautoful story and experience. You are a light of love.
XO
November 23rd, 2007 at 9:14 am
what a blessing you are jen! as long is there is one candle left in the world like you, we will not be hopeless…..
November 24th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Brave woman and well said.
Best wishes
November 24th, 2007 at 1:18 am
Several years ago when I was newly moved to a new town and feeling raw and lonely I stood in line at the supermarket and this small boy who had been peering at me from behind his mother’s legs came up to me and gave me a hug around the knees. And that hug made all the difference.
November 24th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Jen! I love this post. Sorry I could not make it to your lovely Thanksgiving get together. I am sure I missed out. Hope to hear from you soon. XOXO, Josefina
November 24th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Beautiful, Jen.
We need more of this–and more of you–in this world.
November 25th, 2007 at 4:47 am
JenLemen, you are proof that there is still love left in this world. The people who have commented reaffirm that for me as well. IN fact, I have developed such intimate and treasure friendships in this here web community, i feel new love all the time. It usually over shadows the crap.
xoxoxoxoxox
November 25th, 2007 at 9:53 am
You are a very special person.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your community.
Peace!
November 26th, 2007 at 2:09 am
Jen- Often your words are blessings to me as I travel through my funk. You post at precisely the right time to encourage me to release my fears, to embrace my art and to remember to love and bless even those that I pass on the street. Everyone in my life has meaning, even if they are present for only a moment.
I am thankful for you.
xo
November 26th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
Indeed your words are a blessing for me. There IS love in the world and you showed it to those two men. God bless you.
Peace.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
you have freshly-picked-lime colored wings, jen-
with gold chunky glitter on the tips.
i am certain of this.
coud you meet me at trader joes
when i am feeling crummy?
you are MAGIC,
mccabe x
December 11th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
I can’t figure out how to do the whole trackback thing so FYI:
http://wannabehippie.com/blog/2007/12/11/an-order-of-magic-please.html
December 14th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
What a beautiful story. And one that I really needed to hear today. Thank you.
December 21st, 2007 at 11:32 am
I re-read this entry frequently, because it fills me up more than words can say. I feel so blessed to have found a link to your blog several months ago. I’ve learned a bunch from you these last few months I’ve been reading your blog — the “Little Ritual for Letting Go of Fear…” is part of my kick-off of the New Year plans, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing that with the universe/blogosphere. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are. Blessings this holiday season!
Sarah
January 5th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Wow, found this by way of Schmutzie’s side bar Twitter comment. I’ve since sent the link out to friends and all my clients (I’m an astrologer). You have a brand new fan!
March 24th, 2008 at 9:53 am
[…] I think about my friend inside, charming the socks off those Ethiopian boys, our brothers. I think about my own sisters and how much they love me, even when we fight. I think about Vince and all the other people I’ve met on the street who return my humanity to me, by treating me like family, when they have every right to reject me for being part of the rich white American middle class that too often regards privilege as a God-given right. […]