Show Up Like Magic
another print I love almost as much as magic. from the etsy shop Studio M.
I am sitting in a destroyed living room, where people have clearly been living with wild abandon, enjoying my half-decorated tree and the company of Madeleine. True to her mother’s sterling example she’s busily sending email and carefully examining pictures of cute animals on the web, as if this is her life’s truest work. Some mothers wait for their daughters to cook with them or shop with them; in this house, we wait for our children to join us in our obsession of all things net related.
This week has been so busy I can still hardly breathe from it all. Yesterday, I went with two of my sisters, my wickedly talented friend Claire and another dear friend who shall remain nameless to a craft fair where we sat behind little tables, selling our respective wares. This is an odd setting for me, it turns out. For starters, my life here in Silver Spring is all dear souls from far flung places and a handful of neighbors and friends who would trust me with their firstborn. I hardly ever leave the two mile radius for the “real” world where it is inappropriate to be completely and totally yourself with strangers, wait staff or people you have just met. I noted no hardy waving, hugging or loud voices. I felt slightly strange and contained.
Still, there were little pockets of recognition. African-American hippy chicks who totally dug the Joy-full Girl and knew just what to do with an altar kit. The stray young mother with the long braid and sling who asked her mother to buy a poster for the baby because God knows every baby in America needs to hear those things & see those wild colors her whole life through. The very crunchy-cool PR mama with lovely shoes and a big heart who stocked up for every soulful person on her list. I medicated by wandering around the room, passing out squares of chocolate.
I said to my friend over and over again, “This should be a non-profit, so these things can show up like magic when you need them most. For those moments when you know exactly that your soul is in need of some inspiration or hope.” She totally understood. And then she told me a story about a woman in her town who was experiencing the onset of postpartum depression much earlier this time around. The midwife called my friend in the middle of a birthday dinner for someone, the same way people call her when it’s time for a birth. “Can you go? Can you take something?” she asked. And so, of course, my friend excused herself and slipped out, the way midwives do. She showed up on this crying woman’s front porch thirty minutes later with a candle and a kit and the just right words. The woman could hardly contain herself, she was so relieved.
It’s easy to think of this kind of thing as someone just being nice. But I think that minimizes the importance of this work. There are moments when you absolutely need someone to show up like magic, not because you need something nice, but because you need your world view transformed. You need some hope to be born in you. You need to know in one moment that someone believes in you. You need a kindness midwife to hold the space so you can show up like magic for someone else the next time around.
I love the way my friend thinks up ideas like being a kindness midwife and that her bag of goodies contains not herbs or hot compresses, but a colorful collection of all my stuff. I want to make things for that bag my whole life through.
I hope you can show up like magic for someone today, even if the craziness of Christmas demands that someone is you. The tiniest thing will make a difference, I promise. I think the Universe is calling for me to make a very specific bread and chocolate run today. How about you??
December 8th, 2007 at 11:40 am
Jen,
I love this post! There have been moments in the past year where happiness midwives have appeared; and moments where I’ve appeared for others. I swear the gears click and wind and drive us to these places.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
“There are moments when you absolutely need someone to show up like magic, not because you need something nice, but because you need your world view transformed.”
I think that this happened to me last night . . . you worded the experience so nicely.
Thank you.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
ah yes! beautifully said. i’m a believer in this too. i call it “living by the spirit”. if you listen, you’ll be told where you’re needed.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Love the card. Yes you’re right. At this time of year it can to tough to keep your head on straight. Glad to hear of your magic!
Cheers
December 8th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
” There are moments when you absolutely need someone to show up like magic, not because you need something nice, but because you need your world view transformed.”
Those words transformed mine just now.
xo
December 8th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Jen, thank you for introducing me to another new artist’s work. I do love it but I’m running out of wallspace for all the art I want to buy and display. Loved hearing about your craft-fair experience. I went to one yesterday evening and enjoyed hearing the stories behind the artists’ work.
Do you know why I always rush to read your blog whenever I see a new post? Because you seem to know what my soul needs. Yes to your non-profit idea.
I will carry the words in your last paragraph with me today.
December 8th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Mmmm. Just what was needed today. Thank you!!!
December 8th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
This morning, I was looking forward to two hours at home alone: no hubby or children underfoot. I had visions of a peppermint mocha, toast, and a two-hour Advent retreat. But a friend of mine who recently moved to a new apartment invited me to go see it and have coffee with her. I hesitated, then I said, “Yes.” She was thrilled. She made me coffee and a simple and delicious breakfast. She was so happy I was there, and so was I. I ended up spending an hour with her, an hour here at home alone - and in the end, we midwifed kindness and generosity and hospitality into each other’s open heart and arms. Thank you for introducing me to the term that defines a lifetime of blessings - both given and received. You are awesome, Jen.
Peace to you!
December 8th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
You are absolutely right! This is EXACTLY what the world needs more of!
Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Lives are changed by your love, creativity, thoughtfulness, and bravery.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
And if you truly trust your life, as some wise women keep urging, you see that what you needs ALWAYS shows up on your porch when you least expect but most desperately need it. In my tradition we call this “dharma.” Others call it God. By any name, it is faith. And miracle.
December 8th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
oh jen, thank you for naming this work so beautifully. it is midwifery; it is that vital, that transformative, that deep.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Yes! You are pure goodness Jen. I just love reading your blog every single day.
December 8th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
I have this little pink book that goes everywhere with me. I write snippits of my own thoughts, intriging bits of conversation, inspiring quotes from books and websites and little bits of wisdom found here and there. In looking back through this book - quotes from this blog are on just about every second or third page. Again, tonight your words move me and I copied them into my book, You rock my world
December 8th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
I know what it’s like to be in desperate need of a kindness midwife. Over the past year, I’ve found such bearers of hope all around me, on blogs like this one, in books, and finally, in my own tentative kindness toward myself. Now I want to do the same for others. When you open the hope midwifery non-profit, sign me up.
December 8th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
I learned this word today, karuna, it sounds like your friends has already learned the word.
Karuna is a Sanskrit word and is used in Hinduism and Buddhism. It is translanted to mean any action that is taken to diminish the suffering of others and could also be translated as “compassionate action.” When individuals experience enlightenment, they report that all beings are known as one. Therefore, it is natural to extend compassionate action or Karuna to everyone without distinction because we are all one. As we help others and aid them in their healing process, all beings benefit. Because of the oneness of all beings, it is understood that Karuna is not only extended to others out of love, but also because it is an entirely logical thing to do. In the same way that you would want to heal your own wounds, you would also want the wounds of others to heal.
December 9th, 2007 at 1:10 am
Thanks, Jen.
December 9th, 2007 at 1:51 am
Tears are streaming down my face after reading your post. I know you meant it metaphorically but I relate to it very literally right now as my twelve week old son wiggles on my lap, fussy because he is teething already. The memory of those first few weeks is still very fresh in my mind. Our first morning home from the hospital (where we ended up after complications, not quite the peaceful waterbirth we had hoped for) when my husband was out running errands and our six year old was at school I sat on the couch and sobbed because despite my raw and scabbed nipples and little or no sleep I could not get my new baby to stop crying. I then called my midwife in shear desperation and she said, “have you tried laying him on your chest and getting some sleep?”. I abandoned my efforts to take a shower and left my half made oatmeal in the pan and instead lay my son on my chest and we both fell fast asleep. When my midwife arrived a couple hours later she brought fresh baked muffins, herbs for a bath, and a precious knit hat for the baby. The gift that meant the most to me though was hearing her say, “This is normal and it’s going to get better I promise”. To be honest I didn’t fully believe her in that moment. I still felt sore and raw and bone tired but what it did was give me hope…. just maybe it would get better and I would have the opportunity to be the mother I longed to be.
December 9th, 2007 at 8:36 am
Every time I come to visit here, I’m inspired. Even though I don’t have someone on my doorstep, knocking with magic, I embrace these words,
“There are moments when you absolutely need someone to show up like magic, not because you need something nice, but because you need your world view transformed.”
Thank you for the reminder. xo
December 10th, 2007 at 2:47 am
i gave a 20% off your entire purchase coupon to a large family in line at a dept store today. it felt really good.
magic is the best thing ever.
December 10th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Jen, right this second I am grateful to you AND your muses for inspiring such thoughts as a happiness midwife!
It’s said that when you find your path, you feel this undeniable urge to help others.
I know from experience of my own bout with depression, that while in the thick of it I was useless to help myself, let alone others. You know one of the signs that I knew I was getting better ~ yep, I felt the urge to help others again.
I think wanting to help other is a natural state along the journey of a person’s higher potential. And damn it, now I want to be a happiness mid-wife too! I link I gotta link to your post Jen…it’s so freakin’ inspirational!
peace & shakin’ the tree,
Lil
December 11th, 2007 at 7:37 am
Beautiful! I love it.
And, I couldn’t agree more that what you’re offering is exactly what some of us need in the middle of our crazy lives.
Keep creating the magic, Jen!
December 11th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Wonderful! I’m so glad I found you today. What a marvelous idea to “show up like magic” in someone’s life!
Hugs and blessings,
December 11th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Thank you for this, It is such an awesome thing to find this kind of magic, to believe that there are wonderful [people out there doing wonderful things! Many many thanks!