You Are Here
my sister Patience with baby Nate at the airport today. we thought we’d take pictures of people with this little sign all weekend long.
I’m writing to you from a particularly lavish hotel in Los Angeles, California. I’m here with my sister Kris to help her relaunch her business for Boom Boom Baby Room, a celebrity swag event for the Golden Globes. My job is to hold the baby and walk around and stir up a little interest for Baby Brewing, even if I would not know David Arquette if he kissed me on the face.
I brought along this little card I painted the other day when I was despairing of ever shaking those awful shoulds. It’s been all Should Radio, all the time in my head recently. So much so, I can’t even get my ritual together or shake this shitty mood that’s got me down. But the other night it occurred to me that all this should-ing yourself is another way of making sure you don’t know what’s happening right now, right here. And I realized I didn’t want to miss it–even if the “it” was something sad or scary or real. This is my life, after all, and if I don’t show up and experience it, who will? I laid in my bed and let the tears melt away the shoulds until a little bit of peace started to unfurl her wings in my heart.
I hope you’re able to feel exactly where you are and what’s happening this very moment. I’m dialing in to a very tired body and a hopeful heart right now, so sweet dreams all. Tomorrow will be a little adventure, and I’m so hopeful I’ll be able to soak up the magic of every single minute.
January 11th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Dear me. How I needed that. I owe you big time.
January 11th, 2008 at 7:47 am
Switching off “should radio” now and going back to my kids, who are standing here waiting for me to be HERE. Thanks, Jen.
xo Jena
January 11th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I love that sign - I want to hang it up on my fridge next to the quote I ripped out of a magazine: “sometimes it’s good to pause in the pursuit of happiness and just be happy”. I look at it while I put the coffee on and take this deep mental breath and realize, damn, this is IT, this is NOW, and I’m happy. It feels good to take that break, to pause and realize that things are okay in this moment. Thanks for another reminder of that!
January 11th, 2008 at 9:47 am
This is where I am also. I am trying to show up, to be in the moment, to experience life, to feel what is going on with me and around me. Because you are right…”if I don’t show up and experience it, who will?” Thank you Jen, for making me feel not so alone in my struggle.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:16 am
tell Patience she looks beautiful! I love the sign. because of P I had the opportunity to be present yesterday, to help someone with my time and a little homecooked love. I think I came out the biggest recipient of the deal and am reveling in how good that feels. I realized that by having the door to my heart closed (in order to protect it), I was closing the same door that let the goodness flow OUT. I have been prisoner to the shoulds and second-guessing all my life. I think I’ve finally had enough!
January 11th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I too have had a case of the January blahs Jen and this touches me deeply. Our son Jacob was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes last month and the only good thing I can pull out of it right now is that it makes me fully present. “You are here” is truly how I have been feeling lately and it’s terrifying.
“And I realized I didn’t want to miss it–even if the “it” was something sad or scary or real.” - it is so scary and real, but it has given us such intense time with our kids this holiday, times of truly being present to each other and not taking anything for granted. The exhaustion and never ending “present-ness” of it all though can seem very, very overwhelming.
Nice to know I’m not alone - even when you’re in a swanky California hotel! Thank you!
January 11th, 2008 at 11:26 am
How did I not realize you and Kristen are sisters? I’m such an idiot! It was great to meet her on Monday night — hopefully I’ll get to meet you soon!
January 11th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
I love this post. The whole being here, being present thing is so good and sometimes so tricky to get to. There should be a “you are here” wall paper in my office.
Anyway still reading and cheerleading you.
January 11th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
love this post. i have a visual image of a video with all sorts of different people holding that wonderful sign
January 11th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
There are times when I have to remind myself of a quote from Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman:
The time is now and we are here.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Missed you Monday night. Have a fabulous time in LA.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Hi there! I wandered over HERE, trancelike, from Karina’s enchanting blog.
Lovely message. Thank you.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Traveling mercies and joy and energy be yours, dear Jen, on your journey. I am off to the supermarket with my daughter - determined to be right there, among the apples and bananas. Moment by moment. Soaking up the magic of life’s great bounty.
Cannot wait to see more of your pictures and hear your account of the journey. Yeah for you!!!
January 11th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Oh, Jen. This is a great post. And not only that, your sister’s t-shirts are the BEST!! Can’t wait to hear more about your adventure.
January 12th, 2008 at 2:11 am
Jen, I thought the Golden Globes, as we know them, were cancelled, no?? So who will even be there for the swag???
January 12th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Hey Jen,
I’m studying further…and we had to write down 10 sentences starting with “I am…”….my last one was…
“I am here.”
Hoorah!
xx
January 12th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Yes, Jen. Absolutely. Thank you for the beautiful reminder.
January 12th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
yes! this is the next poster. I must have it.
January 13th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Yo, Hollywood sister, I’ve given you a “You Make My Day” award…details at my blog. Hope you’re having a blast in La-La Land… xoxo
January 13th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I’ve had a long bit of the shoulds lately. I’m learning to let them go and enjoy the experiences I’m having and the adventures I’ve had. But with the start of a new year and more questions on life, they rear their ugly heads again. Thanks for providing inspiring words.
January 14th, 2008 at 12:09 am
beautiful post. i need a sign like that in my house.
January 14th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I just looked out my window at the darkening DC sky and confirmed it: I’m here. Thanks for reminding me to check.
January 15th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
How wonderful that through the magic of the internet, you can be in your own “here” and still be “here” with me and “here” with all your other readers. It’s interesting… Physically, emotionally and intellectually I can only be present here. Digitally, with a cable modem, I can flip the bird to time and space.
January 21st, 2008 at 8:54 am
even as i wander through the mysterious and magical walls of siena, i feel what you’re feeling, jen. your posts are so helpful right now. who would have thought that a place so amazing could still feel so difficult sometimes? thanks for all of your honesty, heart, and hope.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
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