The Beginning of Things
Tonight Nick, Jess, Dave and I sat out on our back patio and feasted on falafel sandwiches while being slowly devoured from the ankles up by killer mosquitoes. After being in Rwanda for ten days where the just right bite could give you malaria, I decided I didn’t mind one bit. Halfway through dinner, Nick brought up Sigur Ros, an Icelandic band I had never heard of, and the night went from an ordinary family dinner to a kind of infomercial on the virtues of the band and the imperative that we go see them in concert RIGHT NOW no matter what the cost.
I love this kind of dreaming. And this kind of demand. After listening to a few amazing songs, we spent an hour looking up airfare to the show in Montreal. And then the show in Seattle. In the end, we decided to save ourselves a collective $2000 dollars no one has and go inside and watch the videos on YouTube instead. Do you do this at your house, too? 
We watched video after video, and with each one, we were each in our own ways able to touch that kind of longing and desire that often remains locked behind doors we forget ever existed in the first place. I don’t know how that happens or why, but I’m learning to be glad for the return of the ache and for the magic of simple things to bring you back to your senses. There is lament and the secret fear that you have sold your soul to all the wrong things, and then there is the unexpected way your hand finds the key that unlocks the door that lets the light come streaming in just in time.
Can you dare to believe that it’s never too late? That everything your heart desires is a seed waiting to blossom? A dream determined to tell you the truth that will set your heart free?
Here’s the video that wrecked us this evening. I hope you will watch the whole thing and then lie on your bed and try to remember the beginning of things, before you stopped believing you could fly.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
hi jen,
i’m a new reader of your blog and i love the way you think and your ability to express yourself so eloquently in your writing and art. this video was SO captivating, thanks for sharing it!
staci
June 20th, 2008 at 1:40 am
your writing far outweighs the impact of the video…the combo though is magic. thank you, jen…thank you for sharing. i just sent a link to your post to about 30 people. we could all use a nudge to ‘remember’….and hopefully ‘recapture’.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:16 am
jen
ok that does it.
i’ll meet you in montreal. or wait…how bout rwanda
k
June 20th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Nicole and I made a roadtrip to Portland to go see them. It was really great. But it sort of put Nicole to sleep. She doesn’t do well with ethereal music and dark spaces.
June 20th, 2008 at 5:31 am
of course, you know i needed this.
i love sigur ros, but paul can’t stand them so i’ve forgotten of late to listen to them.
tonight john mayer is in copenhagen. i know, ‘how mainstream.’ but really, i’ve fallen in love with his blues work, especially ‘gravity’ which has been my bedrock through this long transition. http://youtube.com/watch?v=GXXGlaGFywE
i was willing to sell my soul for scalped tickets, but alas (or thank god), none were to be found. as it’s also solstice tonight and we are without our pagany community, the girls and i will celebrate by staying up far to late listening to john on the zune and drinking things.
here’s to homemade concerts and consolation where you can find it!
June 20th, 2008 at 8:25 am
The rush towards the cliff-edge is what got me.
Remembering I can fly seems to be my theme this week. Here’s to it.
With love to you, beautiful spirit.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:21 am
i can still remember the first time i saw this video. it “wrecked” me too while helping me remember that i CAN fly!!
June 20th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’m crying right now. At work.
How could I forget that I can fly? I hope it’s like riding a bicycle…it’s been a long time.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and have thoroughly enjoyed hearing about your trip to Rwanda! However, I decided to leave a comment regarding the band/video you just posted… I’m so glad you heard about Sigur Ros! It has been such an inspiring and wonderful addition to my music repertoire, I’m thrilled that you were introduced to it!
June 20th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now and your writing and images take me to another time and place. I’m not so much running away from the real world (alternately mundane and stressful) but taking a few moments of refuge so I can return to it.
Often I read your latest post — like this one — just before I go to bed at night. I like to think about your words before I comment. Maybe even dream sweet dreams because of them. And then I re-read your post in the morning before I start my workday. To reinforce the themes and images, ground me and sustain me during the difficult moments. When it’s hard to dream. And that fear you described grips me.
This post is no exception. Depending on how you look at it, it’s either “wrecked” or “saved” my day. I’m finding it a little hard to focus on the every-day, down-to-earth tasks.
When I was a very little girl, I did try to fly. Fortunately there were no cliffs on the prairies for me to jump from but I used to stand on the edge of my toybox, wave my arms and jump. Or so my mom claims. I really don’t remember this.
Thanks for introducing me to Sigur Ros and this breathtakingly beautiful, unforgettable video. It’s going to be shared. A lot.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
There is something about a live show that nearly always moves me to tears. Videos and just hearing a song can of course do that, too.
“Can you dare to believe that it’s never too late? That everything your heart desires is a seed waiting to blossom? A dream determined to tell you the truth that will set your heart free?” —I’m counting on it.
Happy! Friday to you.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
this is the business! have sent a link to my mate whose dad was/is bass guitarist with a rock band!
June 20th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
synchronicity ! a girl who works at the film festival I’m working for right now - flew to Iceland to see a documentary about them last year.
June 21st, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Fantastic - not the first time you’ve introduced me to music and images I know are going to stay with me for a long time. I’m flying!
June 21st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
That one is my favorite…
June 21st, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I believe until about a month ago I did truly believe it was never too late for anything. But things have changed, and so have I.
I just watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night about the Elle editor who was suffering from Locked-in syndrome. And, I honestly thought, I know what he’s feeling. He’s talking and no one hears him. He has dreams but he can’t make them happen.
Ah, the drearies will leave soon I suppose. : )
June 21st, 2008 at 9:49 pm
your words here couldn’t have been more perfect for me right now. major shifts are happening. pioneering into my own future. still being the archeologist of my soul. turning 41 next week. the full moon. the summer solstice. re-discovering (with the help of a dear, passionate friend) and *totally* owning & embracing my goddess nature.
yes, there are many things i still dare to dream. and i’m watching things i’ve never even imagined manifest themselves right before my eyes. it’s all incredibly powerful.
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I feel like Wendy in Peter Pan.
I do believe in Fairies. I do. I do.
or is that the Cowardly Lion in Wizard of Oz?
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I finally got to watch the video this afternoon and I loved it, too. That’s how I feel all the time… well, some of the time, sometimes I forget, and then I have to learn how to believe again.
I do believe in flying, I do. I do.
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I’m with Rowena — you mean I CAN’T fly? What a lovely piece of film; beautiful children, too. Not at all surprising that this should speak to you of all people - the most airborne woman I know.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
ha ha… almost spent over 3K to fly to SPAIN to see U2. this idea was almost brought to fruition after more than a couple glasses of wine at 3 am. thankfully we decided to book the tix in the morning…
June 24th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
just wanted to say thank you for giving me something that i needed tonight. i just watched the video and it left me with tears streaming down my face, in a very good way. this is the second time i have come here to find what i did not even know i needed. your stories, your sharing, your life is really a beautiful thing to behold. thanks, jen.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
[…] post Angel is because of the serendipity of the internet. I saw a wonderful Sigur Ros video over at Jen’s, and sent it on to Rima because I thought she’d like it. Rima (who also had a sibling with […]
June 30th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Saw them on Jools Holland a couple years ago, and my life was forever changed. Hoppipolla is still my favorite from them, and possibly one of my favorite songs ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJahfl61DJI
You can also listen to their new release for free via stream:
http://www.sigur-ros.co.uk/band/disco/medsud-dot.php
I will send you my Heima DVD if you promise to return it when I see you next month.
July 8th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hi Jen! I kept forgetting to check your blog. I am feeling kind of dreamy myself today and this post had tears running down my face. You often put into beautiful words these feelings I have and I thank you for it!
July 15th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
WOW!…. that took my breath away… what you wrote really stirred a lot in me tonight and watching the video thinking about what you wrote… nailed it! Thanks… (and I’m still speechless from your other posts…)