About Odette, Me and What Happened in Rwanda
Odette and I met at a playground in May of 2007, and my life hasn’t been the same since.
She asked me if she could borrow my cell phone, and I agreed, seeing nothing but sorrow on her face and a kind of distress reserved for hard times most people never know about. I didn’t ask any questions, but that brief exchange opened the door to a friendship that has turned my world upside down.
Over time I learned that Odette was from Rwanda, that she had narrowly survived the violence of the genocide, that she was a war widow and mother of two girls back home–Grace (12 at the time) and Lillian (then 9), that she had come to the United States as a last-ditch effort to keep her family from going under and that all her hopes for a better life had been dashed by a work and living arrangement that put her at tremendous risk and all but ensured she would never see her girls again.
Through a series of events that we’ve been asked to keep private for now, Odette was able to get herself into a safe and secure environment in September of 2007 and is actively working on bringing her girls to the United States thanks to the world’s best social workers, refugee rights advocates and the kindest lawyer we could ever ask for. Because of the sensitive nature of her case, Odette is unable to travel or return to Rwanda at this time, so we are all the more hopeful the girls will be able to join her.
Since this process can take anywhere from six months to two years, it’s been incredibly challenging to keep the girls safe and secure back in Rwanda without either parent present to oversee their care. This winter alone, Grace nearly died twice (once of undiagnosed malaria and then from undiagnosed tuberculosis) in a boarding school where her symptoms went unattended. (We’ve since relocated her to a much better environment.) By spring, it dawned on me that while Odette could not travel, I could and that if I were in a similar spot I’d want nothing more than for someone I loved and trusted to go see how my children were doing with her own eyes.
In mid-April of 2008, I presented the idea to the readers of this blog and was greeted by an instant outpouring of love and support. By the first week of May, almost $10,000 had been donated by just over 200 commenters–enough money for a plane ticket, a full round of immunizations, 2000 books written in Kinyarwanda and published by Odette and myself, 2000 bouncy balls, 1000 pens, 1 tent, 1 high-producing cow for milk, a digital camera and simple printer for a micro-finance project, and two comprehensive medical screenings for both girls from one of the best doctors in Kigali. I have never seen such an outpouring of kindness in my entire life.
By the end of May, I was on a plane to Rwanda with over four hundred pounds of desperately needed goods and the kind of confidence that comes when you know the Universe is behind you. Over the course of ten days, I distributed the Odette’s book and other supplies to some of the poorest schools in Rwanda via motorcycle with the expert help of Odette’s entire family who welcomed me in the same way you or I would celebrate a newborn baby. As the first white woman in anyone’s memory to sleep in the village, I spent each night in a mud hut with Odette’s girls in my arms and more love in my heart than I knew was humanly possible.
I returned home a changed woman–deeply aware that this one simple act–visiting my best friend’s children in a faraway land–was the very thing my soul needed to discover my life’s work. If there’s anything that would make me happy in this life, it is knowing I did everything in my power to empower and encourage this dear family and the dearest friend I have ever had. To be able to do something amazing for the children of her village–that would be icing on the cake.
If you would like to read more stories about my trip, start here.
If you would like to read about Odette’s book and how it came into being, start here.
You can order our book, Learning to Help Ourselves and Others, at jenlemen.etsy.com.
If you would like to make a personal difference in the lives of Odette’s girls, her incredible family and her hometown province of Umutara, hit the donate button below. Even a $1 donation will do something wonderful for your heart, I promise. 
If you have more questions or would like more information about how we distribute our funds and solve problems in Rwanda from so far, please write to me at jen dot lemen at gmail dot com.
Odette’s daughters Grace and Lillian. From our time together in the village.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
[…] in my life who are counting on me, especially the dear ones who are happy and eager to take it. Odette is first and foremost on my list. If there was ever a woman who was capable of managing her family, […]
July 11th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
[…] this year that would make this year different from the rest: visit my friend’s children in Rwanda and pursue publishing. At the time I had no idea whatsoever that going to Africa would be remotely […]
July 15th, 2008 at 11:48 am
i found this site through the shutter sister site.
i am sitting here, next to my child, crying.
this story has touched me deeply…has restored my faith in humanity…
i have read your posts on shutter sisters, but had no idea the extent of your whole journey, starting at the playground.
you are a wonderful person, jen.
you, and odette, are truly blessed to have found each other.
endless peace and love to you both - kathleen
August 31st, 2008 at 1:39 am
I discovered your site through HOPEreno.com and have spent the past hour reading your posts. This post in particular brought tears to my eyes - tears of happiness, sadness and hope. Your journey has touched me deeply. How lucky you both are to have such a beautiful friendship - what a gift!
Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings, Nicole
September 11th, 2008 at 11:14 am
[…] in a blur these days playing nurse to my sweet Odetta as her mother calls her. Ten days ago, Odette had major surgery to repair some damage she incurred […]
September 16th, 2008 at 12:02 am
[…] What Happened in Rwanda What Love Looks Like It Takes What It Takes Things I Heard While Resting in the House What Happened in Church […]
September 30th, 2008 at 1:26 am
[…] spite of really tough events today (mostly finding out Odette needs a second surgery on Wednesday to deal with complications from the first), I’m feeling […]
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
[…] is with so much happiness and joy this morning that I’m writing to let you know that Odette’s daughter Grace is officially TB free. For those of you who have been following along from […]
November 8th, 2008 at 10:49 am
[…] Almost everyday Odette or I call Rwanda to get the news about the girls, her mom and various family members and friends we […]
November 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
[…] not just because jen spent a lot of time with her during her trip to africa, but because she isodette’s mother (odette is also a genocide survivor living as a refugee in the states and is dear dear friend […]
December 13th, 2008 at 11:50 am
[…] take care of her good friend Odette, and Odette’s family in Rwanda. You can read that story here. And if you’re able and inclined to do a little giving of your own, to make the world a […]
December 18th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
[…] the spirit of giving, check out this amazing story. you never know what’s possible if you dream big and go from […]
January 7th, 2009 at 8:55 am
[…] is that they are building a house for Esteria, a genocide survivor in Rwanda, and the mother of Odette. They’ve built the foundation, and five thousand hand-made bricks. All that’s left […]
February 11th, 2009 at 2:27 am
[…] week a year ago, Odette and I spent five days all day telling stories about love in honor of Valentine’s Day. At […]
April 10th, 2009 at 10:10 am
[…] For more photo essays, see my work at shuttersisters.com For more photos and stories about my experience in Rwanda, start here. […]
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:29 pm
[…] Jen Wednesday April 22, 2009 Photo: Odette, Diana F+ “There is a place where words are born of silence, A place where the whispers of […]
April 24th, 2009 at 3:35 am
It’s 12:32am, just stubbled upon an email from my dear friend Myriam Joseph about a Progressives Dinner Party that is being held this month to help Odette and this situation through the “Joy Spread The Word”. I am crying, thinking of my own children, and thinking about all the other mothers’ out there that are going through what Odette is experiencing. I pray for her daughters and know that this time will seem like a blink of an eye in the universal mind of blessing.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
[…] HopeFULL dinners and more. Odette has work documents now, is working as a cook in a sandwich/coffee shop and just moved in to her […]
June 25th, 2009 at 12:52 am
[…] turned my life upside down just over a year ago. I’ll go to deliver important papers for Odette’s girls. I’ll go to visit the children of another woman who’s been separated from her kids for […]