All That Glitters Might Be Gold
I remember being cautioned in my early twenties about taking my dreams too seriously. Life isn’t like the movies, my friends in their mid-thirties told me sadly, and I remember being vaguely stunned and more than a little disappointed. I took their sage advice and adjusted my expectations accordingly. But now coming into my forties, I see their response to me as more commentary about their own disappointments than any honest critique of my lovely, untamed heart.
Less is more, the old saying goes, and so we make do, thinking ourselves grownups. But what if more is more? What if the answer is to go deeper into our longings until we find the stillness that is more and more and more and more? What if in listening to those dreams we find more peace, more pain, more calm, more love?
I think about this now as I raise a young girl. I want her to find her heart’s dreams–all the glitter, all the gold.
September 19th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Thank you for these words. At 26, I’m finding that the hungry, idealistic me is slowly fading. She’s still there, I think. Thank you for reminding us that there’s always more.
September 19th, 2008 at 12:46 am
I want to believe this, but I feel scared. Scared for my young child and for me. What if we fail, just as my mother kept pressing upon me as more certain than anything?
I feel lost here and tired as a parent. I’m afraid to be brave as a mom. I keep taking small steps, but they never seem like enough to break free from the past.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:29 am
Amen, sister. Amen.
I remember my dad telling me in my 20s and more recently in my early 30s that by the time I was his age I’d lose my idealism and realize how the world really works. I vowed then and there (and over again) not to let that happen to me. And I pray that he can recover his own sense of joy and hope.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:33 am
Stoking the flames of a little girls dreams is a dream all alone. More is more. Thank you for that reminder. I need them moment by moment as the less is more dream stealers invade my thoughts.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:43 am
Oh keep dreaming and dream big! Encourage her that she can do anything. You have manifested so many miracles in the last year! What a great role model you are for her and us. Thanks for always being so inspiring.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:04 am
It’s interesting to me how the same words can have different meanings to different people.
I have always understood “less is more” to be a positive thing - an invitation to get rid of the junk in our lives - to declutter & simplify - in order to allow the truely important things space to grow; to ditch the things that steal our attention & joy so that we can follow our dreams & make them reality.
Whatever that phrase means to us, I think we’re all saying the same thing & its good to be reminded to keep going for our dreams.
September 19th, 2008 at 8:10 am
More is definitely more. By limiting yourself you only just deprive yourself of Life. Either it is Joy or Pain, it is Life itself that is being missed out on.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:27 am
wow that is sad !
I also hate people who peddle the crap that ones childhood is the happiest part of your life - that just made me want to end it all now. Life as a grown up is infinatley better than being a child and I’m still making my dreams happen.
September 19th, 2008 at 10:12 am
I love this post! As someone in their late twenties who recently lived through an experience (in Africa) that deeply tested my idealism, I think it is a question we should be asking. Children get so many messages from different places. First it is “dream big–anything is possible”. Then in high school the subtle message is “don’t dream too big because then people might not like you–but make sure to accumulate money and prestige”. And then in the early twenties, “don’t dream too big because you’ll be disappointed and/or won’t be able to support yourself.”
And yet, it doesn’t seem like there are many people out there talking about dreams as they truly are–guides on our path to a future that is possible, but not sure, and that to pursue them is far more challenging and filled with uncertainty and fear (and aliveness and love) than the paths of least resistance that society often says we should take.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our dreams is what we do with them when they do not pan out (because inevitably they will not unfold exactly as we expect–there will be moments that feel like profound failure). Do we let our disappointment and sense of failure consume us, and transform our souls into a perpetually cynical half-aliveness, or do we accept the present situation as it is, open our hearts to the ways it can teach us, and let our dreams be reborn continuously from our souls as they are now?
September 19th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Well said.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Here’s to hope and optimism, AND dreams that never ever fade from anyone’s heart or soul. All this crap about putting them away because the real world is not the same as you imagine, phoooey! Thanks for that beautiful reminder, and here’s to all of our hopes and dreams coming true in ways that we least expected!
September 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
finding all the glitter and all the gold might just be the perfect purpose of life.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
with thanks!
http://bodalorna.blogspot.com/2008/09/stranger-friend.html
September 19th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Hi there I am a new reader (actually just found you last night from shutter sisters) I love the things you have to say. Life is not meant to be hard. Life is beautiful and we should teach our daughters to expect beauty from life!!! you are awesome
September 19th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Jen, you inspire me to think and dream and wish and cry and write and create and breathe big deep powerful life-filling breaths. I am “easing on down the road” towards all the glitters and is gold and all that is messy and muddy and scary too. This morning, I decided that if I fail at it, whatever it may be, I want to fail spectacularly, go down in flames, flailing my wings incessantly, trying as hard as I can to live as big and joyfully and purposefully and happily as possible, and with all the gusto I can manage.
Thank you for this - and for all your words and thoughts and photos and artwork. You make me ever so glad to be on this wild road, running with the wolves and kids and friends and and soul-sisters and soul-lovers and roaring all the way!
September 19th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I don’t think that we should let anyone squash our dreams. Reality is what you make of it!
September 19th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I want to believe this. I want to think I’m good enough, but what if I’m not. I’m scared, extremely scared. I’m trying to figure out why, but I can’t see it.
Thank you for being here with us.
September 19th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
beautiful words! i remember so clearly all the people who in my lifetime have told me that “less is more” and that i was too unrealistic, that i would be disappointed in the end. how sad! and as i also raise my daughter, i want so much to transmit to her that regardless of what others say, we make our how happiness, and more is more. it’s so good to know that our children have a chance to be raised with their hopes and dreams intact.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Here! Here!
Absolutely YES!
We owe it to ourselves and each other - those in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond - to hold the space - cultivate the fertile soil - in which our dreams take root and grow, grow, grow!!!
September 19th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I say shoot for your dreams!
Anything is truly possibly - if we live our lives with integrity and belief, then we can truly be happy.
It can happen … it will happen
September 19th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I think that less is more… but not less dreaming. Less fripperies and should-dos and have-tos.
I think if more of us went after our souls and our blisses and fewer of us went after money and greed we would all be happier, and the world would be kinder.
I think it’s the heartbroken romantics who turn around and say you CAN’T, it’s impossible, there is no such thing as magic. They have been disappointed so try to sell us a bill of goods made out of cynicism. They try to tell us our dreams are hopeless.
Don’t give up the dream. That’s the gold. And sometimes it’ glitters.
September 20th, 2008 at 3:46 am
more is more…think chocolate cake…more is definitely more when it comes to that sort of thing and what is more magical than soul food at the right moment to help you find the gold in even a dreary seeming moment.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
How about ‘more with less’. We don’t need to know a lot, have a lot, do a lot, etc … to be more, experience more, love more, etc.
September 20th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I loved this post, and I have two daughters who “sparkle…”
September 20th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Wow, Jen…
mediocracy is something I was talking to my 17 year old son about late last night…
about why it seems like, in our society, we are surrounded by people who have been raised to believe that “ok” is enough…
what about shooting for the stars?
what about going over the top?
what about aiming for the upmost, and then seeing where you get?
what about finding you in the challenges of going for more…
what about knowing it will be more difficult to take that road, but the reward will be more bliss than one cn imagine???
ah, Good stuff, Jen, gooooood stuff!!!
September 20th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Thanmk you for this post! It was just what I needed, word for word! Not only for my own dreams to come to fruition but for me to fan the flame of my children’s dreams and to help them to live their own. Thanks!
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:08 am
This rings so true - but I have travelled so far past the place of dreaming and imagining that I don’t even remember (if I was ever allowed to know in the first place) what the BIG dreams of my childhood were.
How do we rediscover that naive passion when we’ve buried it so deep? I know what you write is true, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that it’s too late for some. It will be easy for many (especially the young) to quickly shout “no” - but in all honesty, I have no idea what my passion is, or where or when I left it behind…
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Thank you. I’m 19 and embarking on the college, new city, living without anyone, very soon. And I have all these idealistc dreams and hopes and to me, I feel like in my heartheart it will all happen and it *can* be just like in the movies, or at least just like the way life gives you goosebumps. But, I have all these friends and family telling me thats ridiculous and that life is what it is and this is what happened to them so blah blah blah, and it’s hard, being the absoloute only person that knows that you can do great and amazing things and sometimes I start to believe them a little, and freak out. So thank you, thank you so much. This is just what I needed. Madeline is oh so lucky. And that picture is so fantastic.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
This has been a recurring theme in my life the last few days. It’s exactly what I want to do…follow my dreams. Tama Kieves was the speaker at my church this week on finding and living your passion. In the course of her talk, she said, “if you’re this successful doing work you don’t love what could you do with work you do love?” I burst into tears and couldn’t breath for a moment. This had never occurred to me. It’s changed how I look at it. I was so filled with fear to step out and do what I really want but I didn’t know how. Now I’m gonna try a little faith and trust that I’ll know what I need to know when I need to know it.
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
In my early twenties, I noticed that I got so many “who do you think you are?” messages…I had a lot of dreams and it seemed like more often than not, there were so many cautionary tales attached, so much advice not to get my hopes up too high. Even as I mourn the loss that occurred when a part of me believed them ~ ~ I celebrate the fact that I may have dimmed my flame, but it never went out completely. Thank you for speaking into this!
September 23rd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I noticed this 30’s advice to a 20’s-something when I left college and started my first job. Instead of taking it, I searched out and found a course that, of many things tried, successfully got me back in touch with anything being possible in my life. Now I’m approaching 30 and feel more than ever that not only is that true, but I’m more prepared now to go after my heart’s desire than I ever was before. To put it bluntly: screw cynicism and resignation. Really!
December 1st, 2009 at 5:01 am
[…] recent commenter on Jen Lemen’s All That Glitters… post said this about dreams, “Perhaps the greatest threat to our dreams is what we do with them […]