On Being Born
it’s my birthday tomorrow. the big 4-0.
I’m glad you were born.
If you have ever been wished a happy birthday by me in recent years, it almost always has come with this phrase. I’m glad you were born. To have your being, your birth, your place in this world noted with welcome and joy is something no one finishes needing in my book. It always touches me the way people melt when you say this phrase with all the love in your heart.
I won’t lie to you. There have been days in my life where I really wondered why I was born, or wished I hadn’t been born or thought it was a horrible mistake to be born. I haven’t always known why my life mattered or that I could be seen or loved. I’ve spent huge chunks of time somewhat tortured about this question of being, of wondering why I feel so deeply and for what purpose. My whole life pretty much I have had the sense that my life in particular was meant to make a difference, and I have spent a ridiculous amount of time tormented, wondering what that difference was and when or if or how I would ever make it.
This year, the fortieth year of my life, the Universe gave me some things that I didn’t really know I was missing or didn’t understand that I needed. I’m still deeply touched by those gifts and feel completely undone by that knowledge. I understand now in a way I didn’t know before that I am a thing of rare beauty on this earth, that my heart is much more tender than I have dared to let myself know, that I need to know love in ways that move me and change me, that the landscape of my heart is wild uncharted terrain worth exploring more deeply, that my needs are okay, that my tears are welcome, that my soul needs a certain kind of tending, that crimes against being are a kind of genocide of the heart made right only by patience, made whole only by love.
I want the next forty years of my life to be fundamentally marked by this knowledge, so much so that certain things can never be the same again. To do this, I want to take this next year of my life, the forty-first year, to do forty-one things that will make a difference–for myself as well as others. Forty-one things that matter because they honor the landscape of my heart and speak to the values of my soul. I’m going to blog about it when it makes sense and give you full permission to ask me about my list when it looks like I’m down or burning out on everyone’s life but my own.
I’m aware today, too, of how deeply I have been loved in my life. Adored might even be a more accurate word–which makes it feel more shameful for me when I struggle, because I’ve already been given so, so much. I want to say how truly grateful I am for that love and how truly I don’t want to disparage it as I keep growing and changing. The forty-one things I do this year will not be commentary on that love or those kindnesses; they will be expressions of what happens when that love takes root and sprouts wings.
October 6th, 2008 at 7:50 am
Happy, happy Birthday, Jen ! I am glad you were born…because every time I read your blog, my heart and my soul and my “human-ness” is touched in some way.
40 is a big deal for a woman…in so many deep and superficial ways. I turned 40 three years ago this Thursday and, so far, it is the decade that seems the hardest, the richest, the most significant of my life in good and in challenging ways. So pull up your socks, keep loving comforts close, and most of all, celebrate every moment of what as got you here and every moment of being here that you can. After all, it’s what you were born to do !
Cheers !
PS : If you would like to see the fun and fabulous way I celebrated my 40th, check out this post on my blog :
http://queen-of-arts.blogspot.com/2008/10/october-is-my-month.html
October 6th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Wooot! Happy Birthday, Jen!! Welcome to the club.
I am so glad that you were born
I am glad that you have said yes to all the opportunities that have come your way that make you who you are. I am glad that you are so generous on your journey… that with each interaction you tell us that you are glad that we were born.
May there be lot of joy today, beautiful art, and cake!!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Hi Jen
I saw that it was your birthday on Facebook so I came over to say…I’m glad you were born.
Who else writes so beautifully about making a difference and inspires us to do the same?
Have a fantastic day with your family and friends who adore you, just as we do!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Hi Jen
I saw that it was your birthday on Facebook so I came over to say…I’m glad you were born.
Who else writes so beautifully about making a difference and inspires us to do the same?
Have a fantastic day with your family and friends who adore you, just as we do!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Welcome to the next 40 years of your life… sounds like you’re ready for it!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Happy 40th Jen Lemen. My brother Bob Carlton wrote about you in his blog http://thecorner.typepad.com/bc/
I got goosebumps when I went to your site and saw who he was talking about. I love your stuff. I use pieces of it in my collage artwork that keeps me sane.
40 is the new 20. Peaceful thoughts. And I,too, am glad that you were born.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:19 am
Happy Birthday! I’m getting ready for my big 40 in a few months, and I’ve been struggling too. Wanting to make a difference and wanting to do things for me.
I love reading your blog, love the way your writing gets right to the heart. Thank you for sharing yourself. I hope you have a great birthday, and a wonderful year.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:46 am
The best of happy birthdays to you, and I am oh so glad that you were born. And that you started blogging. And for your honesty.
40 is GREAT, and it gets better. You’re wise now, just think what it’ll be like as you get wiser and wiser!
October 6th, 2008 at 9:02 am
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Happy, happy, happy birthday. I soooo wish I could be there to give you 40 hugs and 40 kisses and 40 reasons why the whole world is better because you were born.
I am glad to know you and be known by you.
To love you and be loved by you.
May you celebrate these 40 years of your life surrounded by friends and loved ones, in body and in spirit. And may the 41 things you choose to do this year bring you great joy and peace and happiness and a profound understanding of your place and role in the world. You deserve nothing less.
Much love from Charlotte, dear, beautiful, wonder-filled Jen.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Happy Birthday! And may I just say…I have only peeked at your blog once before, and again today, and I can’t believe how completely I am in sync with what you are saying. I have been a working artist for 16 years now and have been losing steam over the last few. Yes, I am abundantly blessed. Yes, I have a gift to share. Yes, I feel I should be/could be/want to be doing something more. I don’t want to waste it — what gifts I have and what time I have. I am guessing you have more posts about this very thing…or books or blogs or people who helped you? I feel like it is the mid-life crisis that won’t be resolved, started in my late 30’s and is still going strong at 42. Any recommendations for me? (On some day that is not your birthday, of course. Enjoy!)
October 6th, 2008 at 10:11 am
I have a hunch you will do 41 million things, 41 million things a minute, like the motion of a hummingbird wing, the arc of a butterfly dance. I’m glad you were born.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:12 am
HEY!! It’s your birthday!!!
I’m really glad you were born, Jen.
I love that phrase too.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I’m glad you were born.
I’m halfway through my 40th year, and still wrapping my head around a few things. This year fells like a transition for me. Looking forward to sharing your journey.
Peace and joy on your day.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:53 am
A blessed and Happy birthday to you Jen–and I am so very glad you were born. Thanks so much for sharing yourself with me and so many others.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Happy Birthday Jen! I can’t wait to be with you for the next 40!
October 6th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I’m so glad you were born, and I know that you have made a difference in many ways for many, many people. We are lucky to have encountered you. Happy birthday.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I’m glad you were born, too. I’m glad for all the twists of chance that made it possible for me to share your words and your kalaidescope eyes.
xoxo
October 6th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Happy Birthday!!!!!
What a beautiful post! I’ve always looked forward to turning 40! I still have about 4 years to go!
October 6th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Tomorrow is your birthday but it’s _you_ who have us a gift with this heart-and-soul-full writing. I’ll be back later with a bit more to say (ie, proper birthday wishes) but just wanted leave a brief “Thank you” now.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
here’s to Birth, here’s to life! here’s to you and your amazing existence. be well.
October 6th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Happy Birthday, Jen. I’m glad you were born. The world is a better place wit you in it.
And thank you for this blog that almost always helps me shift my perspective…
October 6th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Happy Birthday, and welcome to 40! When I turned 40, I started to re-evaluate a lot of things. The last 5 years have been filled with hard work and joy — my inner life has gotten so much better. I know you will have an amazing journey, too. Thanks for sharing yourself on this blog!
October 6th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
40 was my year — my roots were finally taking hold and I knew it. I could look someone straight in the eye, my heart centered and strong. I could hold my own. It was a fabulous year of acknowledging myself for a change … and a time of real perspective of what’s important and what isn’t. 40 is a year of rebirth I believe. Embrace it. Happy birthday, Jen! May your heart soar as fiercely and gently as the wind without boundaries and explore the Universe without fear.
October 6th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I, too, am glad you were born. I’m also glad that you choose to share your life, your stories, your dreams and your desires to make a difference in this world. Every day you inspire me to be better! happy birthday to you…
October 6th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Happy Birthday Jen! I’m very glad you were born, the world, and my life, are much the richer for it.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Happy birthday, you. Sorry my video was sooooo lame.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
How wonderful! It makes me smile just to think of celebrating the day of your birth and the one-of-a-kind remarkable person you are
I am living through my 42nd year now. Soooo many of the sentiments you expressed in this post pertain to my experience over the past year or so. Wow!
Thank you again for blessing us with your words, your photos, your tears, your hugs, your art, your passionate living, and beautiful messy-ness. They are treasures like no other on this earth.
Now…stop right this minute and go do something extra special JUST FOR YOU!
October 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Happy birthday dear one. We are glad you were born…so very glad.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Oh my wonderful friend. I’m so glad you were born and I am so lucky to have you in my life. Welcome to 40! It’s a great place to be and you’re in such good company!
October 6th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Happy 40th Birthday!
October 6th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
it seems to me, on the other side of this interwebnet thing :0, that you have a very challenging, wonderful, sparkling life. And i really think that your blog is probably where you sort out that which is just rising to the surface inside of you, where you put it in its proper place internally, while writing it externally. thank you for letting us read, and participate in that growth vicariously. happy birthday!
October 6th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Happy birthday, jen lemen! And many, many more awe-inspiring ones before you, for sure. By chance I found this birthday entry by a lovely soul who is just a year younger than you, and thought you might be soul sisters…http://megcasey.com/archives/205
Alas, I will always be older than you. Not wiser, but trying. Many happy returns of the day.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
happy birthday jen ~ am so glad you were born to be the wonderful you that you are
i turn 40 in just under 2 months and am so grateful to be here where i am right now 
xo
October 6th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Happy Birthday Jen. I am glad you were born. You inspire me to be better and give more. Thanks for being you.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Happy Birthday, Jen! I love your posts and I’m glad you were born. But that greeting/wish reminds me that every day lots of people who have every right to be born are denied that right. That’s sad.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I hope this is happy day for you Jen. The world is a better place for your having been born.
Happy Happy Birthday!
October 6th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Happy Day you were born.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
From a lurker who loves reading what you have to say about the world - may it really be a wonderful day. This stranger is glad you were born, for whatever that’s worth!
October 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Happy Birthday. I am glad that you were born. And I am glad that you blog - it’s through your blog that I’ve found all sorts of sites, and positive people, that made me think I could write too.
so thanks.
I’m glad you were born : )
October 6th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
As I have seen on several blogs today, Happy Birthday! (though we have never met)
October 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
If I could, I would sing happy birthday to you, Lucrecer style. That is, I serenade everyone in opera on their birthdays. Usually referring to being in the womb and how they came out and all is good with the world. I hope this is the most amazing birthday for you and that you have an incredible 41st year. Blessing to you.
October 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I came here and read about forty-one things and then saw there were forty-one comments. I wondered - should I mess up that karma? But, as Karen put it, you’re likely to do forty-one million special wonderful things. And so here’s the 42nd comment on the road to millions. Happy birthday!
October 6th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Happy day! I’m holding you with warmth and tenderness in my heart. Shine on, Jen.
October 6th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Jen, You ARE so, so loved–from afar and even from someone you have never met. You have such a beautiful heart, and your willingness to share it is SUCH an gift to others. I wish you many, many blessings, most especially love and peace.
Happy Birthday!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
May all your Birthday wishes come true! I’m so impressed by the Grover interview.. go you.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
woohoo!!! happy birthday jen!
happy you were born, happy that you are here sharing yourself with others, your stories do change lives and inspire. i hope for you another 40 beautiful healthy years filled with sharing and life changing stories. you are so deeply appreciated!!! and don’t you forget it!!!
hope you have a super duper fun fantastic birthday!!!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Another lurker chiming in to wish you the happiest of birthdays! May this year be the best yet, full of all the things that make your heart leap, bring peace deep down inside and may there be at least one gleeful surprise:) 40’s are great!
October 6th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
happy, happy birth*day, jen lemen! you are a treasure. i am so glad you were born. angels, beings, babes, animal creatures, critters, the moon & the sunshine are singin’ you a little song of thanks*giving for livin’ the gift of your creation color*fully. you are divine. the sweetest lullabies to you tonight, tender soul.
warmly,
gem
October 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Happy Birthday Dear Jen….I am really glad that you were born…you are a dear…Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I join the “glad Jen Lemen was born” club! (and am thrilled to read above that 40 is the new 20…)
Your writing has been an inspiration to me, as it has to so many others. (and I know that YOU have been an inspiration to your friends and loved ones up close and personal, too!)
October 6th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
what a great place to be in…i hope that by 40 if not before i shall be in such a good space.Congratulations and happy birthday.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
happy birthday! thank you so much for everything that you share. your words are wonderful and wise. take care.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Happy birthday Jen. I think you are the bee’s knees. I hope you had a super day.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I must delurk to say Happy Birthday Jen.
In a week I face down 30, I hope to do it with as much grace and love and honoring as you do.
Have a truly wonderful day.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Happy Birthday! I don’t know you in person but I do love reading your blog. And strangely, sometimes I dream that we are friends (but I’m really not a stalker!! Really! I just think sometimes your blog tells me things I’m needing to hear…) so yes, I am glad you were born! Happy Birthday! (also, you have the same birthday as my partner, which makes you ultra-awesome)
October 7th, 2008 at 12:25 am
A bit late perhaps (although it might still be the 6th on your corner of the world) but i wish you a happy birthday! Hope it was a wonderful day filled with celebration and love!
October 7th, 2008 at 12:27 am
Happy Birthday!! You are such an inspiration. This world is a more wonderous & magical place because of what you share - thank you for being you!! Grab ahold of forty and knock its socks off!
~ M.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:15 am
happy birthday jen!!!!!
i feel blessed to have crossed paths with you.
you shine like the sun
and i adore you!!!!!
xoxo
mccabe
October 7th, 2008 at 4:50 am
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you!
happy birthday dear Jen
Hip hip hoooray !
~~~~~
I think the list is a great idea and as I too turned 40 a few weeks ago I think I should think about my own list.
I’m glad that some of the things you are planning are to be kind to yourself.
mary
October 7th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Happy birthday Jen! I don’t know you but found you through Andrea Scher today. I love love love what you wrote. 40 is so young, we don’t really think of it that way, but it is. There’s something that happens, a permission that is granted, when you reach your fortieth year. Take full advantage of it! I’m glad you gave me the opportunity to say this. I’m glad you were born!
Laura
October 7th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Happy Birthday Jen–the 40s are challenging and freeing–so jump on in.
After lurking on your blog for quite awhile (and occasionally posting), I’m truly happy to say–I’m glad you were born!! You are a beautiful and passionate inspiration!
October 7th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Happy Birthday, Jen!! Like everyone who I said this before me, I am glad you were born. You make a difference in my world.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
happy belated birthday — you are so wise and knowing about both yourself and others. thank you for sharing — it helps me stay on my path and keep going.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Happy belated birthday! I hope this year and the ones after continue to get better and better.
October 7th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
hi jen, i too have used that phrase “i’m glad you were born” for several years. it’s such a beautiful way of honouring the person and their birth.
happy birthday… the world is better with you in it.
much love.
October 7th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Happy birthday.
October 7th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
happy birthday and many, many, many more to come.
this marks the first days of your journey around the sun, enjoy the trip!
i am so, so, so thankful you were born.
and i will bookmark this particular post so that i may remember to pick myself right back up when i am down. you inspire me. thank you.
October 8th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Happy Cake Day, Jen!
I am so happy you were born!
I hope you had a day of sunshine and adventure and maybe even yummy grey sweaters
Muchomucho love!
October 8th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Jen ~
Happy Birthday ! It seems you are the one bestowing the gift upon all of us readers !!! What a lovely post. I really admire your way with words ~ you touch our souls.
Again, Happy Birthday and many more to come.
October 8th, 2008 at 11:45 am
October 6th is my birthday, too!!! It’s such a joy to know I share it with someone like you.
I have three years on you and can promise that the best is yet to come!
Thank you for this beautiful post and the perfect timing.
October 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Hello — Happy birthday! Thanks for being born.
I am not sure when, but a few years ago, I started saying “Thank you for being born” to people on their birthday. Everyone is always a little surprised and deeply touched to hear it.
Birthdays are, after all, a celebration of being alive! You seem to be a terrifically and vibrantly alive person and I am very glad you were born.
Blessings,
Stacy
October 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Congratulations on the Big 4-0!!! Yeah!!!
October 8th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Lovely post.
My birthday was on the 6th too. You got me by a year. I hope to hold such gratitude in the wisdom one more year can bring
October 9th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Butterflies
drink the milk of dasies
with no thought of tomorrow
or the beauty they wear.
October 10th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I’m so glad you were born! And I love your idea to do 41 things this year. (I just might steal it for my 34th year.) Best wishes and lots of love for a wonderful, beauty-filled 41st year!
October 11th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Happy Birthday! My fortieth was two days before yours. I love the idea of a 41 list.
Beautiful post.