No Love Left in This World
So, I’m walking out of Trader Joe’s with my cart and my turkeys and a grocery cart full of snacks and whatnot, and I’m just about to pass two men walking in. The one guy looks Iranian, like my friend Farah’s husband Mahmoud, with closely cut salt and pepper hair and perfectly tailored clothes, about 50ish. He’s talking to his friend, who’s younger–more my age maybe. Just when our paths are about to cross, the older man turns to me and say in all seriousness, “I’m telling you–there is no love left in this world.”
“No, no, no!” I said. “That can’t be true. Please don’t say that.”
“Do you know that moment,” the younger guy says, explaining, “when you are at the bottom of everything and you have a little hope left, but you’re not sure if it’s going to last? You’re not sure if there’s really anything there at all?” I nod.
“That–” he says, pointing to the man’s heart “is exactly where my friend’s at right now.”
The older man shrugs in agreement, laughs it off and turns to go to the store.
“Wait, wait a minute.” I call back. “Come back. Come here. My whole day is going to be wrecked if we leave it like that.”
The man turns and walks back to me, until we are standing toe to toe, eye to eye.
“Give me your hand,” I order him, turning on my mother “you-must-do-as-I-say” voice. “I’m going to give you a blessing.” And like a child knowing it would be too much trouble to refuse, he puts his hand in mine.
I don’t know what to say really. But I do know that there is no such thing as no Love left in this world. I know that Love is always waiting, whether or not we have the courage to see it or to receive it.
I stumble through a few sentences and he takes it, at least a little bit. I figure if all else fails he can always say–There was that girl in the Trader Joe’s. At least that’s something.
Now it’s my turn to leave, but this time the other guy stops me. And he is insistent.
“I need that so much more than he does! You have to say a prayer for me, too. I have to have it right now.”
I laugh–since it’s probably more like wishing than praying really–but he gives me his hand and waits–the way you wait when you’re desperate for good news after the worst disaster. The way you wait when you’re hoping for a break.
I feel so helpless and silly, trying to find words that will ease one man’s pain. I don’t know what to say, I don’t even know if what I’m saying is true for him or not, but I am trying. I want something to make a difference, something that will stay with him long after this day.
“Your path is unfolding before you,” I tell him. “You cannot see it now, but it’s true. All you have to do is take the next step, one step at a time. Open your eyes and receive everything you need. Something so much greater is holding you, I’m sure of it.”
At this, his eyes fill up a little bit and he nods, taking it straight to his heart. They ask my name, and I answer. I tell them I’m going home right now to light candles for both of them, that I will be thinking about them both all day. It’s the only thing I know how to do, to try to hold that tiny piece of suffering as long as I can, to remember them, to care.
On the way home, I call my sister and tell her the whole story.
“It’s just horrible,” I tell her, “to think that right now people are wandering around the grocery story feeling like there’s no love left in the world.” I sigh. “How many people do you think are feeling like that?”
“Um, almost all of them?” She laughs, but then she sighs, too.
I hope it’s not true.
I’m the kind of person who has total amnesia about every hard time I’ve ever had exactly five minutes after it’s over. I can be ready to blow my brains out one second and then have a change of heart and feel like everything makes perfect sense the next. I wish I could say I walk around blessing people even when I feel crummy. That I don’t lose sight of hope when things are falling apart. But the truth is I’m entirely capable of telling strangers that there is no love left in this world. At the grocery store. In the parking lot. On the week of Thanksgiving.
Can you see now why instantly I loved them?
I came home to Moirita singing a little song to herself while her mother, my friend, Lourdes performed miracles on the mess upstairs. I tell Lourdes what happened. “Aye, pobrecitos,” she says. I tell her how lucky I feel that someone would tell me such things, but she thinks I mean just lucky in general about my life.
“Si.” she says, answering me in Spanish, sober. “You are one lucky woman.”
That brings me down to earth, to every kindness, to every privilege I have ever known my whole life long. I light the candles, first one, than the other, hoping that the man will find the love he needs. That his friend will see his path unfolding before him, and that I will have the eyes to see it for myself, the next time sadness finds me, the next time I fear all hope is lost.
November 22nd, 2006 at 2:03 am
May we all find miracles outside the grocery store just when we need them.
November 22nd, 2006 at 2:45 am
this makes me want to move in your neighborhood… wonderful story. thanks for sharing.
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:50 am
jen, this is exquisite
November 22nd, 2006 at 6:51 am
what an incredible post - i’ll carry this with me all day ~ thank you xo
November 22nd, 2006 at 7:01 am
Dude. I love you.
K.
November 22nd, 2006 at 8:24 am
Jen, thanks for doing your part to stem the tide of despair that rolls through our supermarkets and shopping plazas and schools and everywhere. I think that now, as the holidays approach, people will feel that emptiness more acutely. “All these people are doing all this shopping, but will anyone think of me, miss me, love me during these busy times?” Thanks for the reminder that we need to keep our ears, hearts, and hands open to hear and bless those who cross our paths. Those men will never forget you. And all who read this story will be challenged to listen and love and light candles for others. Thank you so much, Gail
November 22nd, 2006 at 9:32 am
what an amazing, inspiring post. you seem to be living with eyes, ears, and heart wide open.
it calls me to try and live that way today.
xo
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:08 pm
[…] I just had to share two more things before I head to the airport. I awoke early and so had time to discover a stunning post on Jen Lemen’s blog today about Love and another poem from Panhala, again by Lynn Ungar (according to Amazon her book is out of print, I think I need to make a point of finding a used copy): […]
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:17 pm
This is so beautiful, just like you!
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:24 pm
I believe that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. You were the teacher in that case ~ and again later, the student.
Blessings to you
~Chani (Thailand Gal)
November 22nd, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I absolutely love that you had the courage to do this for these guys. Who knows what was going on in their lives, but you were there at the right place and the right time. You’re awesome!
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:16 pm
my wife and I agree - this is just another manifestation that you are a High Priestess. you embody Shekhinah (שכינה)the feminine Hebrew word that means the dwelling or settling, and is used to denote the dwelling or settling presence of God.
blessing to you & yours, jen !
November 22nd, 2006 at 5:38 pm
Ooooo! I love this and can TOTALLY see you doing it!
Don’t you want to fly out to Seattle and be a blessing priestess with me in my gypsy tent at the Feast of the Winter Solstice?!?!
Also, I hope Carter is feeling better. You can tell him that I called the germ that’s bothering him a “bucky ole’ butt head!”
love you!
November 22nd, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Thanks, great story. And great blogging. You’d dropped off my bloglist, but thanks to Maggi D I can put you back on again. I guess those chances to bless people come up fairly often if we ‘let’ them and choose to share our feelings and risk the other person’s reaction.
I was prayed for last night by some people I don’t know that well. On reflection it was both comforting and slightly strange/unnerving. As we’re just starting up as a group of believers outside/on the edge of organized faith I guess it’s probably a good sign though.
Blessings
November 22nd, 2006 at 6:34 pm
sister…bravo. top to bottom. you are lovely.
November 22nd, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Thank you.
November 22nd, 2006 at 9:06 pm
Jen
You embody love in this world well.
I am thankful for you Jen!
My day is also the better for this
shared tale of hope.
Blessings on your household
this Thanksgiving.
with
love
kelly
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:43 pm
And this is why we are all here, yes?
We each have an opportunity to change how the story ends, don’t we?”
‘But, Grandma, what big eyes you have!”
All the better to see you with, my dear.
‘But, Grandma, what big hands you have!”
All the better to touch you.
November 23rd, 2006 at 4:16 am
You’re inspiring.
November 23rd, 2006 at 10:21 am
Ah, just I needed on this Thanksgiving Day!
November 23rd, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Jen. found my way over from chookooloonks. This is beautiful. Bless you and yours. This is what its all about, easing or sharing the burdens of everyone we can while we are here. You are truly something special.
November 23rd, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Jen…I believe that in such moments, God/dess speaks through us. You seized an opportunity to make a difference to two other human beings…and I’ve no doubt that they are thankful FOR you today.
Peace of heart to you,
Lil
November 24th, 2006 at 12:02 am
You just MADE this Thanksgiving the best ever! Bless you!
November 25th, 2006 at 2:00 am
Gulp. You are such an amazing spirit Jen. You have such purpose in this life. Lucky are those of us who have been so blessed to have met you along our paths.
November 25th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
This makes me wish we met at trader joe’s instead of Blogher.
But I’ll settle for Blogher dear one.
love to you!!
Can you believe I will see you so soon?!
a
November 25th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
A moment of shiny blue magic ignites the sky of hope and possibility for all of us! Thank you!
November 26th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
I realy liked “No Love Left in This World”I am a big fan of http://www.jenlemen.com I hope you get a lot of encouraging replys
Madeleine L. age 8
November 27th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
re”“Your path is unfolding before you,””
Too many times this would have been an opportunity for someone to say “God has a bigger plan”. I am thankful you did not resort to this, but responded one on one, human to human, and just acknowleged the bigger picture.
Cool.
Ther is a Buddhist practice in which you take on the pain of someone who needs help. This reminded me of that. I thinks its pretty awesome you changed someone’s life that day.
-John
November 28th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
I am so thankful for all of the times that some random person approached me with kind and encouraging words in my moments of need. I think what you did was one of the most important things a person can do for another. You are truly blessed and thank you for passing it on.
That sliver of light grows stronger.
November 29th, 2006 at 1:25 am
Next time I’m feeling like crap, I’m hopping in the minivan with the kids and driving cross-country to shop at YOUR Trader Joe’s. Getting a blessing at your hands would be even better than scoring a case of two-buck chuck.
And now one for you:
On the days when darkness falls too early,
Missing the sky, draping over you,
May your eye catch a shade of blue you’ve never seen,
Someone else’s child grant you a baby’s smile,
Choose you for peekaboo.
May a stranger or a loved one meet your gaze,
Touch your hand just as you once touched,
Reminding you that as surely as you know your body draws in breath,
So can you trust your life to draw in all the love you need…
December 1st, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Looks like I’m not the only one who found this post PPA worthy!! Put your PPA button up! Your deserve it girl.
xo
December 5th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Found your lovely post via K at Notes to Self. Thanks for sharing your story. Keep shining your light.
December 6th, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Beautiful. Thank you.
December 31st, 2006 at 12:00 am
[…] Best Christmas present ever here. Now if only this present with this one could be the new uniform for 2007. Maybe it’s just me, but paper like this, this and this delights me. Someone pass the scissors please. Lovely sounds here with lovely pictures for these last days of December. Which is more magical? This or this? I can’t decide. One more reason never to wash your car here. Oh the possibilities! Illustrators inspire me. This one for nearly twenty years. This one more recently. This story completely mirrors the experience of one of my dearest friends. I am not kidding. Chocolate and kisses arrive in the mail when you order something here. Just in case you need a little help getting unstuck in the New Year, you might need to reread this from Keri. With fear of offending you, dear readers, I must confess, I find this empowering. I want to lie in this field and weep. Then I want to laugh with Shirley. I firmly believe small is beautiful. Decide for yourself here. T-shirts you just might drop $40 on here. Especially when proceeds go here. My soulsisters Kyran and Tracey kindly nominated me for a Perfect Post Award at the end of November for No Love Left in This World. In case you’re new here and missed that one the last time. These two women are so amazing and have been angels to me, so I was duly honored. […]
June 10th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
i see this is a year old, i’m not sure if you will get my response, but i was inspired… moved! by this story…
i’m sure we’ve all had that desperate grasping feeling, it eases the pain to know there are ppl out there who actually care. xoxo -kris
July 12th, 2007 at 8:37 am
I was lost…and I found you
Thank you
August 11th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Thanks so much for reposting this and reminding us how much love is left in the world.
November 20th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
[…] It’s almost a year ago that I was doing my Thanksgiving Day shopping and had this incredible conversation with two strangers in front of Trader Joe’s. Over the course of this year, I have received random emails from more strangers saying they found this post at just the right time by putting search terms like “no love left” into google or following links from far and near. Those stories are truly my treasures. I’m reposting this today, just in case you’re out and about and see someone you’ve never met in desperate need of encouragement. I hope you’ll be brave and do something crazy like hug someone for no reason or tell someone you think everything will work out after all. […]
January 5th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I’m glad you were there for them when they needed it. This is a wonderful story.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
it’s a good story
but
it’s too bad i’ve been there and there’s no turning back :/
but i do hope you have the best of days since someone out there has to
it’s people like you that actually get this world for more than just a place where people live
August 25th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
hey!i love your story!!wonderful!! this story inspire me..
November 26th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
[…] always think about this encounter on the day before Thanksgiving. Apologies if you’ve already seen this a hundred times […]
November 27th, 2008 at 10:48 am
I have been there myself .I wish I could have met a soul like you along the way.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
You have a beautiful and open heart. Thank you.
August 31st, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Now I see why people implore the saints to pray for them.
November 8th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I think you are all starry eyed. There is no love - only self gratification. In at least the last two generations life has not changed much for women, not in relation to men anyway. My grandmother had to scream into a pillow in the backyard to express her emotions - and two generations later I am expected to do the same. To give all and feel nothing. This is a giving woman in this story who believes in love - but that doesn’t mean it exists - not in enough supply to nourish all of humanity anyway. I am not going to sream into a pillow in my backyard - I would rather hang by the neck in the pear tree in my backyard. In a world without love - that’s not such a bad idea